Hogwashout

This isn’t a proper critical review of TV mini-series Hogfather (2006), as I haven’t actually seen the whole show. Vadim Jean’s adaptation of Terry Pratchett’s novel is tagged as the first ever live-action production based on any Discworld book. If this is considered by fans to be an acceptable visualisation of the Ankh Morpork environs and its multitude of characters, then gawd help us... because I found it so tiredly predictable, lacking in originality, and ultimately boring, that I could only stomach about a third of this 184-minute piece of rubbish before nearly lapsing into a coma.

Although I’m not very familiar with the absurdly fantastical Discworld milieu, I didn’t find the pandemonium of guest stars, with veteran TV luvvies (Joss Ackland, David Jason) and former alternative comedians (Nigel Planer, Tony Robinson) rubbing shoulders in a decidedly feelgood skiffy panto, and the parade of Dickensian and/ or Dahlesque characters, each with quirky but cringe-worthy affectations, problematic. However, I admit that my instant dislike of this crudely over-ambitious, seasonal comedy-drama probably has something to do with my atheism, or intolerance for anything Christmassy.

From the babbling tooth fairy and under-bed monsters, to Death personified (voiced by Sir Ian Richardson, who promptly died after completing this Xmas tripe) and a polite assassin named Teatime (Marc Warren), this congruent reality policed by dreary ‘Auditors of the Universe’ while threatened by a wicked plot against its fashionably childish belief system is, allegedly, an evening’s treat for anyone who’s been naughty or nice, but I found its application of theatrical fantasy farce to yuletide lore unbearably dull, and tainted by a mawkish sentimentality even in its central protagonist, Death’s daughter Susan (Michelle Dockery).

Now released (or thrown out?) on DVD by Fox, in an overblown double-disc limited edition, Hogfather isn’t even pure hogwash, it’s been ghosted into pointless frivolity by ghastly commercialism.