Pigasus pressure

Interzone 2012

2012-01-23T13:53:00.000Z

The latest issue of Interzone magazine (from TTA Press) is #238 and it has my 'Laser Fodder' column of DVD & blu-ray reviews. Here's the line-up of titles reviewed:

Brazil (9/10)
Captain America – The First Avenger (6/10)
Apollo 18 (1/10)
Camp Hell (2/10)
First Squad (3/10)
Legend Of The Millennium Dragon (3/10)
The Skin I Live In (7/10)
Arena (1/10)
Faces In The Crowd (4/10)
Melancholia (7/10)
Tomie: Unlimited (6/10)
Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark (5/10)
Repo Man (9/10)
Backlist:
The Science Of Sleep (7/10)

This issue also includes my book review of Peter F. Hamilton's collection Manhattan In Reverse.

E-books

2012-01-06T19:01:00.000Z

A few thoughts about e-books, collated from my various forum posts

Meta-novels are, I expect, an inevitableproduct of a digital age. Every text will have info pop-ups & hyperlinksbuilt-in. The next generation of readers will demand such things, no matter what‘book lovers’ say. I think age is the key factor in this debate. Like some of you,I’m also of the last generation who grew up reading (and learning!) solely frombooks, but the Internet has changed all of that, whether we like it or not. Wemight cling to our cherished reading habits and wallow in a love for theprinted books (page-turning is an important part of the pleasure of reading),but, eventually, technological progress catches up with publishing. Kids oftoday are growing up with interactive texts, downloadable content, andmulti-player everything else. I just can’t imagine buying or using any type ormodel of e-reader device but, in the related tech of being able to get onlineanywhere, I still enjoy the convenience that wi-fi hotspot connectivityoffers.

I remember LPs of vinyl, 78s of shellac,and Betamax videos - but I have got an MP3 player, a blu-ray and a hi-def TV. Iwrite monthly columns for niche markets like the printed magazines Interzoneand Black Static, but I realise that the whole publishing industry is driftingfrom print to online, and there are valid ‘green’ and/ or economic reasons fordoing so. Should we quickly abandon reading and collecting books? No! I havebecome a hardcover snob, and I no longer buy or read paperbacks (unless they arenon-fiction or comic-books). And yet, it seems to me, our book-loving culturecannot last for much longer. As public libraries close, I suspect that ‘bookmuseums’ will be a major growth industry for this century!

Just as office tech of the 1980s gave usdesktop publishing, re-launching the ‘fanzine’ phenomena, and gave us ‘semi-prozines’, now the Internet distribution of e-books is presenting us with anotherpublishing revolution; one that’s already underway. With the new century’s growthin self-publishing, and the process now being made simpler by e-book formats,it’s becoming very clear that we really need critics more than ever. As whatused to be essential filtering functions of editorial gatekeepers intraditional publishing houses are more frequently avoided (although without theactual need for skilled editors being made obsolete!) by many writers, there willstill be a vital place for critics to occupy in the buffering zone betweenwriters and readers.

As the supply of newly self-published work as e-booksincreases, somebody needs to identify (if not actually ‘police’) what’s goodand bad, and find the best stories and/ or non-fiction to help inexperiencedand new readers choose from the ‘slush pile’ - because that’s the big risk of e-booksand it’s what seems most likely to happen. The slush piles of trad publisherswill all get self-published by their writers, and the route from desktop orlaptop to downloadable ebook is unlikely to have any editorial oversightwhatsoever.

BS #26

2011-12-16T18:06:00.000Z

The latest issue of Black Static magazine is #26 (Dec 2011-Jan 2012), and this Bristish fantasy award-winning bi-monthly features my 'Blood Spectrum' column of DVD & blu-ray reviews.

Here's the line-up of new & forthcoming titles covered, with ratings:

Umbrage: The First Vampire (1/10)
Helldriver (7/10)
Smallville - season 10 (7/10)
The Human Centipede 2 (5/10)
Guilty Of Romance (4/10)
Conan The Barbarian (5/10)
Super 8 (4/10)
Cowboys & Aliens (4/10)
Kill List (2/10)
Frankenhooker (6/10)
Troll Hunter (4/10)

Interzone

2011-11-23T14:20:00.001Z

The latest issue of Interzone (#237) includes my regular 'Laser Fodder' column of DVD & blu-ray reviews, and here's this month's line-up:

13 Assassins (7/10)
The Event (2/10)
Freedom (4/10)
The Devil's Kiss (1/10)
Green Lantern (5/10)
The Woman (6/10)
Alien Undead (1/10)
Maniac Cop (6/10)
Saint (7/10)
Assassin: City Under Siege (5/10)
Panic Button (1/10)
Deadly Blessing (5/10)
Redline (6/10)
Silent Running (7/10)
Transformers: Dark Of The Moon (5/10)
Final Destination 5 (3/10)

Black Static 25

2011-10-25T12:04:00.000Z

The latest issue of Black Static magazine (#25, November 2011) includes my 'Blood Spectrum' column of DVD & blu-ray reviews. Here's a listing of the line-up with ratings...

Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (5/10)
Tomorrow, When The War Began (4/10)
The Twilight Zone – season four (7/10)
The Cape (5/10)
The Cat o’ Nine Tails (4/10)
Fringe - season 3 (8/10)
Manhunter (8/10)
Tucker And Dale vs. Evil (4/10)
Gantz (6/10)
Stake Land (6/10)
Empire Of Passion (5/10)
The New Daughter (5/10)
The Ward (7/10)
Henry, Portrait Of A Serial Killer (8/10)
Mother's Day (6/10)
Straw Dogs (6/10)
Mimic - director’s cut (6/10)
Tree Of Life (4/10)
X-Men: First Class (5/10)

Dregs of Grog: Round-up
Episode 50 (2/10)
Cannibal (2/10)
Blood Runs Cold (2/10)
Deadtime Stories (2/10)
The Man With The Severed Head (2/10)

Interzone #236

2011-09-22T13:31:00.000Z

This month issue of Interzone (from TTA Press) includes my 'Laser Fodder' column of DVD & blu-ray reviews. Here's the line-up with rating scores:

The Twilight Zone - season 3 (7/10)
Source Code (4/10)
La Jetée (3/10)
Level Five (1/10)
Sans Soleil (2/10)
The Vampire Diaries - season 2 (2/10)
Stargate Universe – season 2 (4/10)
Supernatural – season 6 (4/10)
Insidious (4/10)
Julia’s Eyes (4/10)
Eureka - season 4.0 (3/10)
51 (1/10)
Quatermass And The Pit (8/10)
Warehouse 13 – season 2 (5/10)
Muckman (3/10)
Cannibal Holocaust (1/10)
2001 Nights (6/10)

Used Clumpage: round-up
Cowboys & Zombies (0/10)
Strigoi (3/10)
Wreckage (1/10)
Hatchet II (0/10)
Midnight (3/10)
Black Heaven (4/10)
Pieces (2/10)
Rogue Ninja (3/10)
The Holding (4/10)
The Roommate (1/10)
Territories (1/10)
Sacred Blacksmith – season 1 (2/10)
Buffy The Vampire Slayer – season 8 motion comic (1/10)

The issue also has my first editorial for Interzone, so there's even more of my ramblings!

Black Static

2011-08-15T11:47:00.002Z

The latest issue of Black Static (#24, Aug-Sept) includes my regular 'Blood Spectrum' column of DVD & blu-ray reviews.

Here's the line-up:

The Task (2/10)
Conan The Barbarian (8/10)
The Devil's Rock (4/10)
Giallo (4/10)
Obsession (6/10)
Slaughter High (1/10)
Bane (1/10)
Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus (1/10)
Evil Rising (4/10)
Moby Dick (1/10)
Scream Of The Banshee (2/10)
The Violent Kind (1/10)
Hobo With A Shotgun (6/10)
Limitless (5/10)
The Silent House (2/10)
Super (3/10)
Almighty Thor (0/10)
The Lost Bladesman (6/10)
The Rig (1/10)
Sucker Punch (5/10)
Twin Daggers (2/10)
The Witches Of Oz (3/10)
The Extraordinary Adventures Of Adele Blanc-Sec (8/10)
Quarantine 2: Terminal (5/10)
Second Coming (2/10)
Uninhabited (2/10)
Wasted On The Young (2/10)
Waterborne (0/10)
Iron & Blood: The Legend Of Taras Bulba (4/10)
Red Riding Hood (4/10)
Scream 4 (5/10)
Beastly (2/10)
Atrocious (0/10)
Attack The Block (5/10)

Eyes Wide: anime round-up
Yu Gi Oh: Bonds Beyond Time
Shikabane: Corpse Princess
Black Butler – series 1, part 1
Sekirei – complete series
High School Of The Dead
Nabari no Ou – series 1, part 2

IZ 235

2011-07-18T13:48:00.000Z

The latest Interzone (#235, July-August), from TTA Press, has my 'Laser Fodder' column of DVD & blu-ray reviews. Here's list of this issue's coverage, with ratings:

The Fifth Element (8/10)
Hereafter (4/10)
Eyeborgs (5/10)
The Twilight Zone - season 2 (6/10)
Detective Dee And The Mystery Of The Phantom Flame (8/10)
Don't Look Now (8/10)
Never Let Me Go (5/10)
Tenebrae (6/10)
Assassin Rising (3/10)
Caprica - TV series (4/10)
Drive Angry (7/10)
The Pack (5/10)
Robot Chicken - Star Wars episode III (0/10)
The Adjustment Bureau (6/10)
The Funhouse (6/10)
Unknown (6/10)

Anime Nations
Eden Of The East - The Movie I: King Of Eden (3/10)
Evangelion: 2.22 You Can (Not) Advance (6/10)
Akira (8/10)
Musashi – The Dream Of The Last Samurai (6/10)

Deadweight Horrors: Round-Up
Prey (2/10)
The Rite (3/10)
Hunger (1/10)
Siren (2/10)
World Of The Dead: Zombie Diaries 2 (0/10)
The Resident (4/10)

This issue of Interzone also includes my review of Michio Kaku's book, Physics Of The Future.
TTA Press have announced a new offer of lifetime subsciptions for Interzone and sister magazine Black Static.

Blood Spec

2011-06-22T13:56:00.003Z

The latest Black Static (#23, June-July) includes my Blood Spectrum column of DVD & blu-ray reviews, with 30 releases (including a couple or three boxsets) covered in 9,000 words over 11 pages. Here's the line-up, with my rating scores...

Chatroom (5/10)
Confessions (5/10)
Enter The Void (5/10)
Time Traveller (5/10)
Salon Kitty (4/10)
Black Swan (8/10)
Spartacus: Blood And Sand - season 1 (4/10)
Trackman (4/10)
The Bird With The Crystal Plumage (6/10)
Fertile Ground (4/10)
Red Canyon (2/10)
Stanley Kubrick: Visionary Filmmaker Collection (7/10)
Agnosia (6/10)
Fading Of The Cries (2/10)
5150 Elm’s Way (3/10)
Psalm 21 (6/10)
Seconds Apart (5/10)
Zombie Undead (1/10)
Cross (2/10)
Cross Of Iron (6/10)
Demons Rising (0/10)
Red Hill (2/10)
Apocalypse Now (10/10)
Eaters: Rise Of The Dead (1/10)
Needle (2/10)
Trail Of The Screaming Forehead (0/10)
Witchfinder General (7/10)
Savage Streets (3/10)
Neighbour (3/10)
The New York Ripper (2/10)

IZ# 234

2011-05-28T10:58:00.000Z

The latest Interzone (#234, May-June 2011) has my Laser Fodder column of DVD & blu-ray reviews.

This month's line-up (here with ratings) includes:

Made in Spain: Fantastic Factory
Beyond Re-Animator (7/10)
Faust: Love Of The Damned (5/10)
Romasanta: The Werewolf Hunt (6/10)
Arachnid (4/10)

Universal Squadrons (3/10)
Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows – part one (4/10)
The Twilight Zone - season one (6/10)
Woochi – The Demon Slayer (7/10)
Blood Reich: Bloodrayne 3 (3/10)
The Devil’s Tomb (2/10)
Dark And Stormy Night (1/10)
I Saw The Devil (5/10)
Pandemic (4/10)
Sweatshop (2/10)
The Frankenstein Experiment (4/10)
The Walking Dead (4/10)

BS #22

2011-04-21T15:04:00.002Z

Black Static #22 received today from TTA Press.

This issue includes my regular 'Blood Spectrum' column of DVD & blu-ray reviews. Here's a list of month's line-up (coverage of 24 releases on 10 pages), but due to budget deficit cutbacks affecting numbering of ratings, there are no 8, 9 or 10 scores this month. The figures won't run to anything that high!

And Soon The Darkness - remake (3/10)
Bathory: Countess Of Blood (4/10)
Death Notice - Ikigami (3/10)
Marchlands (1/10)
Phenomena (7/10)
Saw: The Final Chapter (6/10)
The Beyond (7/10)
Savage (5/10)
Age Of The Dragons (3/10)
Husk(2/10)
Island Of Death (1/10)
Primevil (3/10)
Demon Empire (6/10)
Wake Wood (3/10)
Blooded (1/10)
Caged (3/10)
The Last Lovecraft (1/10)
Prowl (2/10)
The Girl Who Kicked The Hornets’ Nest (7/10)
Monsters (7/10)
Rubber (6/10)
Tekken (3/10)
Chain Letter (2/10)
The Door (7/10)

New printer

2011-03-22T19:24:00.002Z

Following 'death' of my old Epson 660, its replacement is a HP DeskJet 1050 all-in-one (printer, scanner, copier) J410 series.

Setup is relatively easy, although I cannot figure out why the USB cable for connection to a desktop PC must be bought separately.

Build quality seems a bit plasticky, and the machine is somewhat noisier than I had expected, but the very fast A4 printing speed is impressive, and it spits out address labels in a second.

Full-colour A5 printing is fine, but I haven't tried it with any photo-paper yet.

Interzone

2011-03-21T12:59:00.000Z

The latest issue of Interzone magazine (TTA Press) includes my 'Laser Fodder' column of DVD & blu-ray reviews.

Here's the line-up of reviewed titles, plus ratings:

Interzone #233

Psych: 9 (4/10)
Alien vs. Ninja (5/10)
Operation: Endgame (5/10)
Paradox Soldiers (3/10)
Vamp (3/10)
Paranormal Activity 2 (0/10)
Primal (6/10)
The Lost Skeleton Of Cadavra (0/10)
Altitude (4/10)
The Universe: 7 Wonders Of The Solar System (2/10)
Skyline (6/10)
The Gathering (5/10)
The Man Who Fell To Earth (8/10)
Legend Of The Guardians: The Owls Of Ga’Hoole (2/10)
Ink (4/10)

Epson660

2011-03-19T07:21:00.000Z

My venerably ancient Epson Stylus 660 printer has finally died...

Habitually creaking and whirring, partly fossilised, always prone to ‘communication errors’, it’s now announced its own demise with a full set of flashing red warning lights, and a complete failure to even attempt cleaning its own thoroughly clogged print-heads.

Bit sad to see it go, after all this time, because this was the last piece of equipment still in use from my very first desktop PC system; bought when this century was still new and shiny, and everything was beige.

BS #21

2011-02-22T17:37:00.001Z

My 'Blood Spectrum' DVD & blu-ray column in Black Static #21 (TTA Press) has 22 reviews on nine pages:

Shogun Assassin (6/10)
Piranha 3D (5/10)
A Serbian Film (9/10)
Mirrors 2 (3/10)
Outcast (5/10)
Amer (7/10)
I Spit On Your Grave - remake (5/10)
Buried (8/10)
Let Me In (5/10)
We Are What We Are (3/10)

Damage Control: Round-up
Ghosts Of War (4/10)
Choose (2/10)
Open House (3/10)
Sinbad And The Minotaur (1/10)
In Their Sleep (3/10)
Burke & Hare - remake (5/10)
Gnaw (0/10)
Bedevilled (3/10)
Terror Trap (1/10)
Damned By Dawn (3/10)
Someone’s Knocking At The Door (4/10)
The Unforgiving (1/10)

Best foreign film

2011-02-02T03:55:00.000Z

Told in flashbacks, Oscar-winning Argentinean crime drama The Secret In Their Eyes concerns a retired judge, Espósito, writing a novel about an actual rape and murder case - one that he believed sent the wrong culprits to prison, two men who were framed by a corrupt authority for the sake of legal expediency. Haunted by the outcome of this ‘Morales case’, Espósito re-opens investigations to expose the injustice, and convict the real killer.

Director Juan José Campanella maintains a fluidity of pacing in the unfolding narrative that most clearly resembles a superior TV movie, but its genre elements are too few for any serious consideration as horror or thriller, despite fine performances from the main cast in an intriguing mystery storyline, and some romantic complications of the protagonist’s life, which broaden the film’s appeal.

Lasered

2011-01-24T13:40:00.001Z

My ‘Laser Fodder’ column of DVD and blu-ray reviews, for Interzone #232 (TTA Press), includes coverage of:

Metropolis (5/10)

The Avengers – series 6 (7/10)

Ultramarines: A Warhammer 40,000 Movie (1/10)

K-20: The Legend Of The Black Mask (6/10)

The Hole (5/10)

Mindflesh (8/10)

Dead Space: Aftermath (2/10)

The Shock Labyrinth (7/10)

Oh, and I got my name on the cover, at last.

Yay for me!

Bone to pick

2011-01-20T10:52:00.000Z

Sight & Sound (February 2011 issue) has a piece on Coens’ remake of True Grit. The article’s titled ‘No country for young girls’ and that phrase neatly sums up the gritty hard-worn coming-of-age story in Winter’s Bone.

It’s a slice of realistic Americana, one that’s pitched about midway between the wholesome family TV entertainment of The Waltons or Little House On The Prairie, and the despicably unfriendly, with no-redeeming-features amorality, character-fest of The Devil’s Rejects. Which is to say that, its overall tone is halfway to nowhere in particular, and manages to take up 100 minutes of your viewing time without offering much drama beyond terse Missouri inhospitality and outright Ozark hostility (due to criminal activities involving making drugs, not moonshine), and stubborn teenage rebellion (yet with a ‘noble’ cause - that of saving a rundown family homestead from profiteers).

There’s a formidable-looking redneck bloke, some kind of community patriarch type, who’s named ‘Thump’. At that point… the bleak solemnity and dreary mood was just so OTT that oh, how I larfed! But, to be honest, I found this ‘people picture’ was mostly rather dull.

Year's end

2010-12-31T13:35:00.001Z

My latest 'Blood Spectrum' column (of DVD & blu-ray reviews) fills seven pages of Black Static #20 (TTA Press.

This issue's line-up:

Black Christmas (6/10)
The Seventh Victim (7/10)
Siege Of The Dead (2/10)
Peeping Tom (4/10)
Predators (6/10)
Deadly Outlaw: Rekka (4/10)
Splice (8/10)
A Bay Of Blood (5/10)
Deep Red (7/10)
The Last Exorcism (1/10)
The Girl Who Played With Fire (7/10)
Missing (4/10)

             Dreaming in death-pools - Guillermo del Toro collection
Cronos (6/10)
The Devil's Backbone (7/10)
Pan's Labyrinth (8/10)

   Off the charts: round-up
Ong Bak 3 (3/10)
30 Days Of Night: Dark Days (2/10)
Lost Boys 3: The Thirst (3/10)
Lake Placid 3 (1/10)
A Nightmare On Elm Street (3/10)
Battle Royale (4/10)
Death Race 2 (1/10)

   Extra-discs (late arrivals)
Aftershock (4/10)
F (3/10)

Vector

2010-12-15T16:58:00.000Z

Vector 264

The latest issue of BSFA critical journal, Vector #264 (Autumn 2010), includes my review of SF novel Brain Thief by Alexander Jablokov. The magazine doesn't have ratings for reviews, but I'd give this book four stars, or 7/10.

IZ #231

2010-11-15T13:25:00.000Z

Interzone's last issue (November/ December) of 2010 includes my 'Laser Fodder' column of DVD & blu-ray reviews...

The Avengers - series five (6/10)
The Brothers Bloom (7/10)
Fanboys (3/10)
Heroes - season four (4/10)
Dollhouse - season two (8/10)
Black Death (7/10)
V - season one (4/10)
Nausicaä Of The Valley Of The Wind (3/10)

Black Static

2010-10-13T12:43:00.000Z

In good time for Halloween reading, Black Static #19 (from TTA Press), includes my 'Blood Spectrum' column with nine pages of DVD and blu-ray reviews:

Black Lightning (6/10)
The Legend Of Fong Sai-yuk (7/10)
Dogtooth (5/10)
Inferno (9/10)
The Listener - season 1 (3/10)
Tears For Sale (5/10)
Bad Lieutenant - Port Of Call: New Orleans (8/10)
The Loved Ones (6/10)
Grindhouse (Death Proof, 3/10)
Frozen (4/10)
Suck (5/10)
Zombies Of Mass Destruction (6/10)

+ rant-o-matic: round-up
Road Train (2/10)
Splintered (1/10)
The Sword With No Name (5/10)
Blood Snow (1/10)
Twelve (2/10)
Big Tits Zombie (2/10)
Life Blood (3/10)
Night Of The Demons (2/10)
The Collector (3/10)
The Experiment (4/10)
The Tortured (3/10)
Not Like Others (2/10)
Saturday Nightmares: The Ultimate Horror Expo Of All Time (0/10)

IZ #230

2010-09-09T13:55:00.001Z

Interzone #230

The latest issue (#230) of Interzone magazine includes my Laser Fodder column of DVD & blu-ray reviews, with coverage of 16 new releases...

Stargate Universe - season 1 (6/10)
After.Life (7/10)
Hunter Prey (5/10)
Kick-Ass (5/10)
Fringe - season 2 (7/10)

    blu for you
Delicatessen (7/10)
Mulholland Drive (9/10)
Death Note 1&2 (8/10)

    + round-up: when voids collide
Mega Piranha (3/10)
Centurion (3/10)
Basement (1/10)
The Last Seven (3/10)
Beyond The Rave (1/10)
Cherry Tree Lane (1/10)
Death Tube (1/10)
Mega Shark Of The Malibu (1/10)

The 'B' word

2010-09-08T12:35:00.000Z

How to fix UK gov deficit & clear national debt? Emergency powers for a special wealth tax (at 95 percent) on British billionaires. Yes, BILLIONAIRE should be filed under 'obscenity'. Wealth super-tax ensures a minimum number of victims, but with maximum claw-back of dosh from greedy Brits. Let's face it, if they can't survive and live comfortably on 5 percent of a billion, then... who cares?

The 'A' word

2010-08-14T22:08:00.002Z

Austerity seems to be a current buzzword from the Con-Dem coalition, inflicting cuts to public services. I’d really like to see austerity measures applied to churches, too… Why not abolish the ‘charitable’ status for church institutions in the UK, and make them all pay taxes at premium business rates?

There’s no reason why the organised religions should remain a special case. A lot of church properties, on prime sites in town centres, could be redeveloped for proper commercial enterprises to make better use of the locations and land, which might even provide more useful services to local communities.

More BS!

2010-08-09T14:00:00.002Z

Black Static is three years old! Where does the time go, and all that...
Issue #18 (TTA Press) features my latest 'Blood Spectrum' column of DVD and blu-ray reviews, with coverage of 25 new releases on seven pages:

Solomon Kane (4/10)
Afterwards (4/10)
Bubba Ho-Tep (5/10)
The Storm Warriors (6/10)
Blood River (5/10)
Psychosis (3/10)
Clash Of The Titans (7/10)
Shelter (5/10)
Animals (4/10)
Manson Girl (5/10)
14 Blades (6/10)
Goemon (7/10)
The 7th Dimension (8/10)
[REC] 2 (8/10)

+ Soulless Scars: round-up...
Zombie Women Of Satan (1/10)
Bikini Girls On Ice (1/10)
Samurai Zombie (3/10)
Kaiji: The Ultimate Gambler (3/10)
2001 Maniacs: Field Of Screams (1/10)
The Haunting Of Marsten Manor (1/10)
The Torment (1/10)
Meat Grinder (2/10)
The Bleeding (2/10)
The Horde (3/10)
Dead Cert (1/10)

More film & TV reviews!

2010-07-09T13:40:00.001Z

My latest 'Laser Fodder' column (for Interzone #229) has review coverage of the following genre movies and TV shows, on DVD and blu-ray:

Exam (5/10)
The Living Dead At The Manchester Morgue (7/10)
Mulan: Warrior Princess (5/10)
Hidden Fortress: The Last Princess (5/10)
The Lovely Bones (4/10)
Warehouse 13 - season 1 (7/10)
Ashes To Ashes - season 3 (6/10)
Cargo (7/10)
Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief (4/10)
Hierro (7/10)
Shutter Island (6/10)
Wizards (6/10)
Astro Boy (4/10)
Ponyo (2/10)
Nothing (7/10)

Fun photos

2010-07-07T10:16:00.000Z

From one of those suspect but amusing emails doing the rounds...

Here are the candidates for 'contractor of the year' award...

The last one is (reportedly) the winner.

More bloody reviews

2010-06-15T11:24:00.001Z

Black Static #17 (from TTA Press) includes my 'Blood Spectrum' column of DVD & blu-ray reviews. Here's a list of this issue's coverage, plus ratings:

Dolan's Cadillac (5/10)
Stag Night (3/10)
The Stepfather - remake (4/10)
Blood (5/10)
Left Bank (6/10)
Razor's Ring (1/10)
Dorothy (7/10)
Lockjaw: Rise Of The Kulev Serpent (1/10)
Phobia (4/10)
High Lane (4/10)
True Blood: seasons 1 & 2 (5/10)
City Of The Living Dead (5/10)
Van Diemen’s Land (1/10)
The Book Of Eli (7/10)
Daybreakers (6/10)
Harpoon: The Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre (4/10)
The Graves (3/10)
Satan’s Baby Doll (3/10)
Homecoming (3/10)
A Lizard In A Woman's Skin (4/10)
RoboGeisha (5/10)
The Wolfman - remake (6/10)
The Haunting Of Molly Hartley (2/10)
Bear (2/10)
Resurrecting The Street Walker (1/10)
Martin (8/10)
Funny Games - remake (3/10)
The Crazies - remake (6/10)
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (7/10)

More Laser Fodder

2010-05-15T13:43:00.000Z

Issue #228 (May-June 2010) of Interzone magazine is out now (subscribe to it, and Black Static, at TTA Press). My column, Laser Fodder, of DVD & blu-ray reviews has coverage of new and recent releases. I have added rating scores (marks out of ten), to all titles reviewed, as listed below...

Ghost Machine (3/10)
George And The Dragon (3/10)
The Men Who Stare At Goats (7/10)
Avatar (6/10)
Sherlock Holmes (2/10)
Valhalla Rising (7/10)
Battlestar Galactica: The Plan (4/10)
Mutants (3/10)
The Road (2/10)
The Prisoner (5/10)

Plus a round-up of Asian 'action porn'...
Bangkok Adrenaline (3/10)
Geisha Assassin (4/10)
Raging Phoenix (5/10)

Tai-Chi Master (6/10)

The mag is published in full colour, throughout, and there's some great artwork to support the genre fiction.

Coalition metaphors

2010-05-12T12:45:00.002Z

Best wishes & hopes for LibDem efforts in coalition negotiations & wrangling with Tories. (Is Clegg really capable of parliament's 'Tory wrangler' job, in long term?)

Anything in politcal playground that kicks UK gov off Lab/Tory seesaw, and lets us play with swings & roundabouts of mainstream coalition must be worth a try now!

You never know what it might lead to...
Perhaps one day soon, if there's a united or federal Europe (with Russian partners?), we'll visit that great theme park in the sky (somewhere over the rainbow on road to utopia) and try bigger rides like grand rollercoaster of world gov?

Thor

2010-04-28T03:08:00.001Z

In production and due for release in 2011, The Mighty Thor directed by Kenneth Branagh, sounds promising for another Marvel comic adaptation - despite worries about whether anyone can refine mythology involving a pantheon of Norse gods into a contemporary fantasy scenario that will entertain a mainstream audience. Asgardian epics worked just fine on four-colour pages, but can the peculiar content of Thor comics be transferred to genre cinema in compelling style without becoming (endearingly?) silly or, even worse, embarrassingly stupid or unforgivably pretentious?

The challenges of archaic language used in Stan Lee and Jack Kirby's comicbook series have reportedly been avoided by the film's writers (at risk of upsetting the purist element of Thor fandom!) by opting for today’s colloquial English - but hopefully not vagaries of ‘Amglish’ (from which the phrase ‘oh my god’ acquires some new Americanism of cringe-worthy potential!), and this curiously ignores all the possibilities that are offered by tapping into Branagh’s experience at making films out of Shakespeare's texts.

Amongst many other pitfalls to be evaded, principal casting of some puny humans (not as mere templates for CGI creations, presumably) as various Norse deities has a rather amusing ‘international’ flavour, so far…

Australian Chris Hemsworth (Kirk’s dad in Star Trek) plays thunder god Thor
Welshman Anthony Hopkins could make a worthy all-father as Odin
Swedish star Stellan Skarsgård is likely to be good as Silvig
Irish beefcake Ray Stevenson (vigilante Frank Castle in Punisher: War Zone) is cast as Volstagg
English–as–Eton, Tom Hiddleston comes from TV acting, for prime villainy of Loki
Japanese actor Tadanobu Asano is – intriguingly – assigned the role of Hogan
Californian Rene Russo portrays Frigga (no jokes, please)
Another American actress, Jaimie Alexander (from slasher movie Rest Stop) plays Sif, consort of Thor
Israel-born actress Natalie Portman, interestingly, plays nurse Jane Foster

In the comics, Jane was assistant of Dr Don Blake, the mortal who transforms into Thor, but it’s unclear, at time of writing this, whether the character of disabled medic Blake appears in this film or not. Other geeky questions and concerns include: will they keep iconic features of the comic like Thor’s magic hammer (with unpronounceable name ‘Mjöllnir’), or will he just get a battleaxe? If the film’s plot follows that familiar tale about Odin’s punishment of Thor with exile to Earth, will the storyline lapse into cliché as yet another example of tedious father–and–son reconciliation themes which infect nearly all Hollywood products nowadays?

Like both Iron Man films, and forthcoming Captain America remake ('First Avenger…' reportedly stars Chris Evans, from Fantastic Four movies), Thor is part of build-up to Joss Whedon’s mooted 'Avengers' epic (we can only hope that it follows revisionist trend established by Ultimates comics, not the Avengers' 1960s' origin story), in prep for 2012. Ah, that’s a year of apocalypse, right? Verily not…

Paranormals whatever

2010-04-24T15:18:00.000Z

Although I find publishers’ marketing trendiness for so-called paranormal/ supernatural romance books a vaguely interesting cross-genre project, I have avoided reading any of those novels… There are simply too many series of books, the market is obviously swamped, and I prefer TV adaptations of such things on DVD – amongst a batch of boxsets, I watched Blood Ties (based on Tanya Huff’s Vicki Nelson series), and I’m likely to be reviewing True Blood (derived from Charlaine Harris’ Sookie Stackhouse books) for Black Static, soon.

My concern is whether such experimenting with varied tropes is any kind of genuine literary development or worthwhile genre progress..? By making traditional horror’s creatures (vampires and werewolves, especially) the heroes/ heroines or characters in modern romantic dramas, former subgenre menaces have lost much of their gothic appeal (Buffy has a lot to answer for), and such contemporary over-familiarity risks domesticating the monsters. What’s happening to essential otherness of horror in all this? Is ‘urban fantasy’ just another gimmicky category label for bookshops or does it represent horror tamed into mediocrity?

Hopefully, new vampire anthology, The Bitten Word (Newcon Press) - which I bought at the World Horror Convention in Brighton, will contribute something… terrifying or fascinating to whatever’s the next big thing or movement for independent publishing. Back in 1985, Tom Holland’s comedy-drama Fright Night had a vampire moving in next door to a horror fanboy, and then kidnapping/ seducing a teenager’s girlfriend, but at least Fright Night’s vampire remained (mildly) scary. When horror abandons subversive traits, adopting/ favouring romantic plots instead, and ghastly monsters/ transforming creatures are domesticated, we get awfully boring soap opera/ sitcoms like TV series Being Human.

Is that sort of material a suitable advancement of meaningful horror for 21st century, in TV, film, or books?

BS in colour

2010-04-20T12:14:00.001Z

This month’s Black Static #16 (April–May 2010) from TTA Press is the first issue of this bi-monthly magazine to be printed in full colour throughout... and it looks glorious – from the redesigned contents listing, to Peter Tennant’s 15 pages of book reviews (a section that regularly includes interviews with genre authors).

My own 'Blood Spectrum' column also looks better than ever with a display line-up of DVD packshots, and many publicity stills from the coverage of 28 films. I have added ratings (scores out of 10) to all titles listed below…

Demon Warriors (4/10)
Cut (4/10)
Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl (6/10)
The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (8/10)
2012 (7/10)
The Descent: Part 2 (6/10)
Invitation Only (5/10)

Plus – ‘Argento-mania’, reviewing four re–releases
Terror At The Opera (8/10)
The Stendhal Syndrome (8/10)
The Card Player (6/10)
Two Evil Eyes (7/10)

‘All ye zombies’, a batch with stuff about –
Zombeak (3/10)
Survival Of The Dead (7/10)
Zombieland (5/10)
Night Of The Living Dead 3D (2/10)
Day Of The Dead (10/10)
Dance Of The Dead (5/10)

And, finally, the Dreadful Delights: round–up, which looks at –
Ong Bak 2: The Beginning (5/10)
Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant (4/10)
Chaw (5/10)
Give ’Em Hell, Malone (5/10)
iMurders (2/10)
Salvage (1/10)
Hellbride (1/10)
Paranormal Entity (0/10)
Henry Lee Lucas: Serial Killer (1/10)
Bitch Slap (6/10)
Backwoods Bloodbath (1/10)

Odyssey aftermath

2010-04-06T15:48:00.006Z

Final day of Odyssey 2010 was a run-around to pack non-essentials, get my bags into hotel luggage store, and checkout before 11. Jobs done, I went to see La Menace Vient de l’Espace (aka: The Menace Comes From Outer Space, 2009), a 19-minute short film with English-subtitles introduced as a ‘lost’ sci-fi classic, which is really a highly amusing pastiche, complete with female robot and portable phone, of low-budget 1950s' cinema (including This Island Earth and Earth vs. The Flying Saucers). Directed by Pierre-Axel Vuillaume-Prézeau, this envisions a modern French society radically changed by using a numeric language, and this ‘protocol 123’ is revealed as prelude to an invasion by aliens, but…

It’s very funny, so if you missed it search for the download version on You Tube. The noon panel about novels provided some insightful comments from Caroline Mullan, Graham Sleight, and Jetse de Vries, moderated by Ellen Datlow. I missed lunchtime programme item about ‘climate scepticism’ but watched and listened to first part of They Walk Amongst Us Here created by ‘Old Time Radio’ enthusiasts in the Commonwealth hall.

Left that early for a Green Room meeting before my last panel, ‘Dollhouse: Ethics and Identity’, where Steve Kilbane moderated our views on this somewhat (mildly!) controversial TV series, though I disagreed with a few of Liz Batty and Paul Cornell’s opinions about the show’s SF content. At 4pm, the closing ceremony's attendees packed the main hall, although many people from the con (including top guest Iain Banks) had already gone home.

Overall, a very well organised weekend event, with significant improvements to various tech services, despite the architectural oddities of some hotel conference rooms (a few of which were simply numbered, this time, instead of using the names they had for Orbital two years ago).

Odyssey finale

2010-04-05T08:31:00.003Z

Odyssey 2010 – Monday

Yesterday was busy, starting with a panel on anthologies – Ellen Datlow, Ian Whates, Colin Harvey and Gary Couzens discussing 'the art of compilation'. Al Reynolds' talk about 'SF and the modern cosmos' had tech problems, so it started late and its colour slide-show was only screened in black-and-white. From the main hall, I went to the noon panel about 'writing meaningful reviews' moderated by John Clute, but the panellists (I'd never heard of any of them before) all had completely different perspectives, making any balanced or interactive discussion rather difficult.

I had to leave that item early, to visit Green Room, ready for my panel about Clarke (and whether he's still worth reading), where Colin Harvey moderated our discussion. With Ian Whates, Edward James, Martin McGrath, and Stephen Gaskell, opinions differed but we seemed to agree that such older SF novels ought/ should appeal to younger readers today. After, I listened to some comments from 'Not The Clarke Awards' panel, but found I hadn't read any of the books they were talking about.

Next, meeting Interzone film reviewer Nick Lowe, after his BSFA lecture on “2001 and the Narratology of Transcendence,” revealing the 'untold' story about developing the script for Clarke and Kubrick's masterpiece. I saw Roy Gray just after the dealer's room closed at 6pm, and we went to the poetry readings hosted by Birmingham's former poet laureate Chris Morgan. Roz Kaveney's readings were good, as were some others, but I forgot their names.

I had to leave that room early, in time for my panel on James Cameron's Avatar, where Jetse de Vries moderated our lively discussion of the film's merits and faults. I waited patiently for the Mitch Benn gig to start - much later than expected in the main hall, but his 'adult' comedy/ singing act was not funny and only weakly amusing. I think he's just a retarded Bill Bailey wannabe.

Announcements made in Atrium bar space for 'Steampunk Ball' dance in the main hall were an increasing annoyance during late night drinking and chat, but it didn't really spoil the evening, where conversations included mysterious origins of life and the reportedly surprising popularity of Harry Harrison in Russia... I found a copy of Sentinel newsletter #5, with a picture of my first panel on Friday night. Oh, yay.

This morning, I'll be checking out, but still going to programme items, and I have one more panel to do before the closing ceremony.

Odyssey weekend

2010-04-04T07:53:00.002Z

Odyssey 2010 – Saturday & Sunday morning

After breakfast on second day of convention, I missed the panel on female superheroes, and went for educational and informative 'Quantum Computing For Beginners' talk by Dr Nik Whitehead, adding some background detail to theories I'd already read about in SF books. Found a front-row seat for guest-of-honour Iain M. Banks' highly amusing interview by Jane Killick, but I had to leave main hall early in time for my panel on Watchmen, debating film's merits & faults but also talking about Alan Moore, the motion comic, and superheroes in general.

George Hay lecture (sponsored by SF Foundation) was an interesting talk by Oliver Morton about 'geoegineering'. I enjoyed the panel on 'writers and the web' – including Joe Abercrombie and John Meaney moderated by Maura McHugh. Before teatime, I saw tail end of panel discussion on geoengineering, which included Phil Huggins, Jonathan Cowie, and Morton.

First hour of SF 'tall stories' inspired by Clarke's Tales From The White Hart was very good, with Andrew J. Wilson giving best reading of most entertaining short story, but I left after that one to get a drink... and found Jetse de Vries serving whiskies at launch party for his anthology Shine – which really deserves to succeed with its theme of optimistic SF. Slowly, the Royal room cleared to make way for an exclusive preview of short genre films chosen for Sci-Fi London Film Festival. I watched the first three but then had to hurry along to room 41, for my panel about US remakes of British TV shows, where versions of Life On Mars and The Prisoner were talked about.

After 10pm, I had something to eat from limited snack-menu in the Atrium bar, and was ready for drinking and talking until about half past one. Distribution of Odyssey's Sentinel newsletter seems uneven - I got issues two, three, four, but seven, but when/ where/ what happened to issues five and six?

Now it's after breakfast on Sunday... I'm especially looking forward to this morning's guest-of-honour talk by Alastair Reynolds, and my couple of panels about Arthur C. Clarke (lunchtime), and Avatar (this evening).

Odyssey 2010

2010-04-03T08:39:00.003Z

Odyssey 2010 - 61st British SF convention

Hotel busy and I had time for a panel on book collecting before checking into top-floor room (with only car park view). Meeting & greeting, sorting out copies of Premonitions for dealer's room, and trying to avoid buying any books... then it was 4pm, time for first panel in main hall, where Iain M. Banks, Edward James and others discussed Utopia – in various fictions, while questioning whether it could ever be realised.

Friday's teatime panel on UK vs. US TV was in small room 40, packed to capacity with more standing than sitting. Jane Killick and Gary Blog led discussion on styles, standards and examples - with Chad Dixon becoming default moderator – but no consensus was reached about quality from either side of Atlantic. I went to NewCon Press launch in Royal, but free booze was all gone, and I wasn't tempted by that new SF anthology. Looked in main hall for several minutes of UK movie première Universal Soldier: Regeneration, but even Van Damme's presence couldn't save this clunky actioner, so I left early, to visit art show launch, which seemed smaller than previous 2008 exhibition at this hotel, but which still had several excellent displays.

Opening ceremony started late and finished quickly, but 'star-scape' stage set-up, giant video display with original animation and 2001 theme music made it look grander than just intro to line-up of guests and organisers. A panel item on 'Disability and Villains' was troubled with an inactive sound system for a sizeable room, where my 10pm panel titled, 'It's Shit But We Like It' was fun and enjoyable as noisy chat about films & TV, but derailed by lack of focus. At least a techie arrived to switch the mics on.

WHC photo

2010-03-31T16:51:00.001Z

'The Year in Review' panel at World Horror Convention 2010, in Brighton...

I disagreed with Anne Billson, twice (but think I got away with it!).

Day after WHC

2010-03-29T20:31:00.001Z

Sunday morning at World Horror 2010 was hectic (not helped by misplacing the programme book with all my notes!) after breakfast as we packed for 11 am checkout, so I missed the Dennis Etchison hour, and Gary McMahon's reading (sorry, mate, hope it was good..?), but I was able to catch last few minutes of a panel item, about value of awards, moderated by Andrew Hook. Having bought a print (by Bob Eggleton) from the artshow while loitering around during lunch break, I went to support Chris Teague's Pendragon Press event, launching Silversands by Gareth L. Powell.

At 3 o'clock, it was time for 'The Year In Review' panel, where I met Anne Billson (one of my favourite film critics), and talked rubbish about best horrors I watched in 2009. Despite losing David J. Howe, and Joe Jenkins (Monica Kuebler became our replacement moderator), the panel wasn't wrecked by my tired waffling. The closing ceremony was packed, while WHC organisers wisely kept shortlist of thank yous to a minimum, so many people could leave promptly (if only to face havoc on public transport due to strike action).

Overall, then, it was a great convention, and hugely enjoyable gathering of old friends and new faces. I met a few more writers (including Terry Grimwood), bought some new books, sold copies of Premonitions (many thanks to Roy Gray!), and somehow managed not to get too drunk.

WHC Saturday

2010-03-28T08:10:00.000Z

World Horror Convention 2010 weekend

Despite rude awakening of Oz grand prix at 5 am (thanks, Stephen!), I was breakfasted and fully conscious in time for morning's readings by Joel Lane and Cardinal Cox, both very good indeed. Sticking to my current book-buying rule of 'hardcovers only', I got Vincent Chong's new artbook from Telos tea party, and then found a seat in lounge for WHC guest of honour interview: James Herbert, who talked about his career. 'Unrealised Nightmares' was a panel about horror films that were never made. 'Those Were The Days' was a panel about 1960s – 1980s era of genre anthologies. Although she was poorly, elderly film star Ingrid Pitt proved an endearing and very entertaining interviewee, though best described as charmingly potty.

Teatime programme item 'State Of The Art' had too many panellists for Russell room, so Ramsey Campbell switched it with 'Into The Gore Zone' from the Lounge. Once re-settled, it was good to hear F. Paul Wilson (The Keep) and Graham Masterton (The Manitou) to talk about their first novels - both filmed to good effect, decades ago. I caught last half-hour of art show reception in Britannia room and considered which print to buy. Had a nap before steak & chips, then walked down the illuminated pier where HWA Bram Stoker awards banquet was being held.

Back at the hotel bar, more drinking continued until clocks were reset an hour ahead. I enjoyed first part of Phantom Gaslight theatre, with Geoffrey Jesson recounting tragically comic but ultimately macabre tale, 'Puss-cat'. More drinking ensued and I met writer John Travis (once published by Pigasus Press), and some Facebook friends.

WHC 2010

2010-03-26T18:51:00.000Z

World Horror Convention 2010

Arrived in Brighton early, quick journey via A27, easily found Royal Albion hotel on seafront. Parking hassles and rain spoilt Thursday's mood a bit, especially with having to wait for later check-in than we'd hoped... for top floor twin-room without any view. Had good feed at local chip shop, then went back to hotel in time for mid-afternoon panel item about zombies.

Opening ceremony (at teatime) was a packed out, standing room only, but we had front row seats. 'New Blood' was a panel with next generation of horror writers. Who Cares What You Think? - proved an interesting panel topic on reviewing for blogs. First day of drinking was rounded off with a couple of creepy new short stories, of great descriptive flair and subtlety, read by author Ramsey Campbell.

Friday started dry and windy during our seafront walk after breakfast. 'X Factor' offered retro movie reminiscences of panellists (both writers and artists). Tanith Lee was interviewed by Chelsea Quinn Yarbro, but I forgot to ask a question about her scripts for Blake's 7... 'Size Matters' was a worthwhile panel topic on current small press activities. Left reading by Brian Lumley after a few minutes because I found his story rather boring (too much arithmetic & fractions about vampire's age!), and went to see art show, where I met artist Caroline O'Neal and poet Cardinal Cox – both contributors to Premonitions.

I bought a couple of hardcover books at Newcon Press launch, and went to interesting 'Heritages of Horror' panel, featuring critics Kim Newman and David Pirie, talking about movie books. 'Life Sucks', a discussion of vampire fiction, was final panel of day for me.

Jekyll & Hyde

2010-03-21T12:38:00.001Z

Had a fine evening out, yesterday, watching The Strange Case Of Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde staged by European Arts Company at Quay Arts Centre, Isle of Wight. This refreshingly brisk adaptation of Robert Louis Stevenson’s famous novella is a stylised comedy-horror that makes the best of such a low-budget production’s technical limitations with highly judicious use of special effects, and sees the whole cast also performing well-choreographed stagehand duties, adding ironic humour to this charmingly inventive minimalist recreation of the classic Victorian gaslight stalker tale.

William Hartley plays Henry Jekyll as simpering yet ‘mad’ doctor, all repressed desire and nervous tics, who’s even cowed by haughty butler Poole (Arthur James, who also plays a publican and two other characters). Of course, just a risky tipple later, he transforms - via simple but effective theatricality of a garish waistcoat and swaggering demeanour - into untamed London lothario, egotistically prone to violence with murderous intent.

An introductory/ wraparound meta-narrative, concerning US actor Richard Mansfield (who portrayed Jekyll & Hyde at London’s Lyceum in 1888, until the Whitechapel murders forced the play’s closure), gives repertory veteran Richard Latham his first of five secondary parts. Unlike Stevenson’s original story, which contains no female characters, this stage version features Jennifer Bryden, also playing five different roles, including Jekyll’s sister.

Despite some excellent comic timing, many of the jokes do tend to be witty (tincture as viagra tonic!) rather than hilarious. The first hour is largely good-natured fun and games (some clever business with Jekyll’s housecat, and the return ‘train journey’ to Scotland, is particularly amusing), while the second act is much less campy, delving a lot deeper into Freudian dramas that reveal psychotic alpha-male Hyde’s predatory nature, and permits a range of more ‘adult’ themes (including incest) to be explored.

The company’s play is on a tour of small theatres in UK (throughout March, April, and May, this year) and is certainly worthwhile entertainment.

Horrors in colour

2010-03-20T10:58:00.002Z

My next 'Blood Spectrum' column of DVD & blu-ray reviews is done for Black Static #16. Although this issue of the magazine is still a work-in-progress, the big news is that it will be printed in full colour! Here's a couple of images taken from TTA Press editor Andy Cox's page layouts for my column, which show just how much impact adding colour to Black Static has... (Click on the images to see them full-size.)

IZ #227

2010-03-12T17:54:00.000Z

My four-page 'Laser Fodder' column in Interzone #227 (T3A Press) has DVD & blu-ray review coverage of Hardwired, Thrill Seekers, Time Traveller's Wife, The Avengers - series 3, The Interceptor, Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs (which, admittedly, I'm dismissive of), Shane Acker's 9, Caprica TV pilot-movie, The Box, and Lathe Of Heaven remake.

Caterer

2010-03-05T19:38:00.000Z

I read and greatly enjoyed Jeff Lint’s The Caterer comic (#3 ‘reprint’ by Floating World). Steve Aylett (steveaylett.com) continues to milk his phenomenal Lint mania. This perfectly ‘reproduces’ the format and printed medium of 1970s’ comics, complete with dodgy adverts and a ‘fan mail’ page. “Once again tatty curtains part on the true situation.”

When he’s not practising trademark ‘stillness’ with baffling diatribes, ‘hero’ of The Caterer, Jack Marsden, is causing untold mayhem and indulging his penchant for splash–page dreamscapes eerily reminiscent of Hieronymus Bosch. This is surreal comicbook weirdness at it most deliriously offbeat, so utterly irreverent that Aylett risks losing as many readers as he’s likely to gain.

Newly minted pulp action scenes vie for attention with inconveniently preposterous dialogues and supporting characters - like (or perhaps you don’t?) Sheriff Leonard Bayard that help define friable Jack by doing things he doesn’t, such as leaning, or giving moderately sane advice (“don’t let it be udders”). But, whatever else we think of Jack, in The Caterer, we’re bound to wonder “what he’s doing now” and what he’s going to do next…

Further cause for celebration, is a new revised edition of Aylett’s implacably amusing Inflatable Volunteer.

Black Static #15

2010-02-22T14:35:00.002Z

The new Black Static was just delivered, and #15 includes my regular Blood Spectrum column of DVD and blu-ray reviews. This issue's coverage looks at eight pages worth of recent and new releases. Although the magazine does not have ratings for published reviews, I have added scores to each title (a good idea?) as listed below, just for some at-a-glance info about what's good or bad entertainment.

Blood Feast 2: All U Can Eat (1/10)
Street Trash (7/10)
Wrong Turn 3: Left For Dead (3/10)
Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath Of The Dragon God (4/10)
House (aka: Hausu) 7/10
Train (4/10)
The Day Of The Triffids (6/10)
Halloween II (1/10)
The Haunted World Of El Superbeasto (1/10)
Surrogates (8/10)
Tony (3/10)
Dante's Inferno (2/10)
In The Electric Mist (6/10)
Long Weekend (6/10)
Pandorum (4/10)
Cabin Fever (6/10)
Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (4/10)
Wolfhound (7/10)
Triangle (7/10)

Plus, in the 'terror triage' round-up section -
Sorority Row (2/10)
Growth (3/10)
Room 36 (5/10)
Whiteout (4/10)
Stan Helsing (1/10)
Malice In Wonderland (5/10)
Borderland (1/10)
Jennifer's Body (2/10)
Open Graves (2/10)
Paranormal Activity (1/10)

Tarantino

2010-02-08T01:41:00.004Z

Although Quentin Tarantino’s bubble burst long ago, the gasbag continues to deflate - crashing and burning, spectacularly, like the cinematic Hindenberg – throughout the pointlessly extravagant runtime of his latest wistfully eccentric, over-hyped offering, Inglourious Basterds. With each new project, it becomes clearer that self-confessed video geek Tarantino is actually just a frustrated short-film director stuck making features.

The chaptered structure of Inglourious Basterds, and most of Tarantino’s previous films, betrays a creative sensibility that’s better suited to episodic television than big screen epics. While it’s patently true that Tarantino writes engaging, highly quotable, and often quite fascinating dialogues and monologues, the impact of his work lies in lengthy but wholly self-contained ‘scenes’ or suspenseful comedy–drama sequences, not in coherent narrative structures which may hold viewers’ attention for more than two hours. A typical Tarantino film is composed entirely of witty ‘moments’, surprising incidents, and a scattering of clever 'plot' twists. Genuinely compelling storytelling, at feature–length, is not really Tarantino’s forte. Genre in-jokes, and gushingly enthusiastic sub-cultural referencing of numerous foreign or obscure movies, is what he does best.

Inglourious Basterds is billed as a WW2 ‘western’ and has Brad Pitt leading a team of Jewish American soldiers in guerrilla warfare against German troops, behind enemy lines in occupied France. Unlike the recent batch of, largely respectful, films (including Flame & Citron, Paul Verhoeven’s Black Book, Edward Zwick’s Defiance, Rønning and Sandberg’s Max Manus: Man Of War, and the adventuresome Female Agents), concerning European heroes of the Resistance movement, Tarantino’s contribution to this unanticipated cycle of retro pictures is hardly a themed biopic or even a thrilling wartime actioner (reminiscent of secret mission movies like Dirty Dozen, Guns Of Navarone, Where Eagles Dare, etc).

Tarantino might well claim to be inspired by Sergio Leone, for the stylised - yet rarely stylish - presentation of various talky confrontations and violent conflicts staged for Inglourious Basterds. However, there are times when the shadow of Mel Brooks falls over exposition or characterisation. Seemingly encouraged by Tarantino to reach for a bathetic extreme, German TV actor Christoph Waltz valiantly overdoes his ‘jolly Nazi’ act in a satirical role that comes dangerously close to stupid farce, undermining his character’s supposedly fearsome reputation as ‘the Jew hunter’.

Burning down a cinema while Adolf Hitler and the assembled German high command watch a new product of Nazi propaganda sounds like appealingly dark humour about the fate of the Third Reich, but its actual effect as the vengeful climax of Inglourious Basterds is just another thoughtless irreverence. Tellingly, the film-within-a-film, Nation’s Pride, the tale of a German sniper who’s become a war hero, is granted more rhetorical significance, being accounted in greater detail, than the routinely grisly scalping exploits of the ‘basterds’ themselves.

As for the ‘alternative world’ (and, therefore, borderline sci-fi) scenario of Tarantino’s wannabe opus, there’s far superior and less bombastic entertainment found in Danny Bilson’s unpretentious B-movie, Zone Troopers (1985), which sees a group of GI Joes discover a crashed UFO in Italy, and team up with a surviving alien to fight the Nazis. Zone Troopers even has a memorable scene where one American soldier punches the Fuhrer! It’s lively honest fun, and simply better filmmaking than Tarantino’s horribly conceited effort.

Retro sci-fi #1

2010-02-05T23:44:00.001Z

Watching a twin pack DVD of Farscape: Peacekeeper Wars (2004) confirms my suspicions about this rather lacklustre TV series, despite having seen only a handful of earlier episodes from its 1999 - 2003 run. An obvious Flash Gordon / Buck Rogers clone with genre junk-DNA from Blake’s 7 spliced into its humans and aliens (quite terrible muppets!) scenario, it remains terminally derivative, stuck in a space opera limbo – lost somewhere between universes epitomised by Star Trek and Star Wars. The 1980 movie version of Flash Gordon was directed by Mike Hodges in such a way that was creativity amusing but ultra campy; and everyone knew it, and so didn’t bother trying to be anything else. The same goes for similarly trashy TV shows like the formidably absurdist Lexx (1997 - 2002).

However, Farscape - great title; shame about the show! - was not content to be a ‘guilty pleasure’. It quite brazenly attempts a level of seriousness (stealing the surrealism of its finale from the uncanny deathbed closure of Kubrick’s 2001!) and fails miserably; often with dismal ‘acting’ from its main cast which struggles even to be considered as wooden, and several interactions between muppet ‘characters’ and regular actors that inject a distracting tone of pantomime farce, especially unwelcome during the scenes of ‘heightened drama’, into the space fantasy. The world of 21st century sci-fi deserves better media entertainments than this cursedly unimaginative, ultimately disposable, nonsense.

Interzone in colour

2010-01-13T14:35:00.000Z

Issue #226 of Interzone (published by T3A Press) marks the great magazine's return to printing in full-colour, throughout, something not seen in these pages since #211 (July-August 2007). It certainly does brighten up the non-fiction sections and adds visual impact to the artwork produced for some of the stories. And, in future, I hope that artists illustrating new genre fiction will take advantage of this upgrade - a very positive change - in the overall quality of IZ.

My blu-ray and DVD column, 'Laser Fodder', in this issue has review coverage of District 13: Ultimatum, Godzilla, Year One, Starhyke, Bronx Warriors trilogy (of 1990: Bronx Warriors, Escape From The Bronx, New Barbarians), Moon, District 9, Misfits, Final Destination 3D, plus a round-up of Star Trek (2009), Terminator Salvation, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: season 2, Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen, and G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra.

Best films of the decade

2009-12-31T07:50:00.001Z

2000 to 2009 was the decade of great superhero films and epic trilogies, and sometimes those grand trilogies were comicbook movies... Admittedly, I have a strong bias towards SF and fantasy cinema, but – simply put – that’s the kind of stuff that appeals to me the most, so I usually rate genre films more highly than anything else. Favouritism aside, I think all these should be regarded as key films of early 21st century cinema.

Hulk (2003) director: Ang Lee
Getting a filmmaker who’s best known for serious art–house dramas to helm a highly commercial blockbuster was a daring move. However, the risks paid off, handsomely, resulting in the very best film of the last ten years. What Lee created is the first sober epic of superhero cinema, rich in mutated genre themes and supremely iconic images – derived, in part, from the very same influential mythological and literary sources which had obviously inspired the comicbook original Hulk’s creators, Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, back in 1962. Honestly, this masterpiece blending of SF adventure and monster-movie remains far superior in every way to unnecessary sequel/ unfortunate remake/ somewhat unsightly franchise-reboot, The Incredible Hulk (2008) – which I did enjoy, of course, but still think is nothing to get excited about if compared to Lee’s instant classic.

The Dark Knight (2008) director: Christopher Nolan
Building on his success with Batman Begins (2005), gifted auteur Nolan delivers the goods with this exhilarating and tightly orchestrated action thriller. A mix of superbly performed characters and livewire confrontations between terrorist-psycho the Joker (Heath Ledger, aiming for legendary status), and Christian Bale’s thuggishly dynamic masked crusader, this eclipses Bond and Bourne, and it presents the new benchmark in superhero cinema, wholly intended for a mature audience, with intense drama of such power that Zack Synder’s flawed Watchmen (2009) could not hope to match it.

Black Hawk Down (2001) director: Ridley Scott
The battle of Mogadishu in 1993 gets a vivid big–screen treatment from a filmmaker at the height of his technical and creative powers. Here’s a horror story of a mission going tragically wrong. It shows what happens when professional soldiers confront a warlord’s vast militia forces, as tactical advantage is lost, and thoroughly outflanked American troops are besieged by Somali belligerence and ferocity. Gritty and messy scenes of modern warfare are unnervingly mixed with a traditional sort of gung-ho US Rangers action, epitomised by Tom Sizemore’s battalion commander, striding purposely through sundry guerrilla strikes in urban mayhem, a fearless portrait of unflinchingly single-minded heroism, staring into the face of so much sudden death and wanton destruction. It’s one of the greatest war films ever made.

Hellboy (2004) director: Guillermo Del Toro
Much as I admire Del Toro’s Spanish fantasy productions – Devil’s Backbone (2001), and Pan’s Labyrinth (2006) – I prefer the accomplished mix of quirky humour and uncanny action that distinguishes Hellboy from the rest of recent superhero cinema, although Timur Bekmambetov’s hugely appealing and imaginative Russian offerings, Night Watch (2004), and Day Watch (2007), explore similar generic territories. For Hellboy, the director continues the good work that he put into Blade II (2002), adds doomed romance to existing secret agency and darkly weird otherness tropes, and so this comics-based adventure delivers more levels of madcap fun and winning pathos than either of those equally lighthearted – but much less interesting – Fantastic Four (2005/ 2007) super–team movies. It’s rather saddening to note, however, that sequel Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) proved to be a bit of a letdown.

Mulholland Drive (2001) director: David Lynch
Classification resistant and impossible to pigeonhole, this mystery about murder and identity on the borders of sanity abandons reason but not hope, in a convoluted story that hinges on Lynch’s apparent fascination with Jungian psych, effortlessly blending dreams with harsh realities. The artistic filmmaker’s ingenuity is utterly beguiling, as paired female characters switch from emotional transparency to morally opaque in a realm charting the mechanics of creating films and the overpowering quest for bright mesmerising images, whether the director intends visuals to be revelatory or illusory.

Pulse (aka: Kairo, 2001) director: Kiyoshi Kurosawa
And so to Asian films... Many were seen, few are chosen... My shortlist had Grudges, Rings, and other ghost chillers galore, but this SF apocalypse shines through murky shadows and creaky slasher plots with its creepy virtual viral menace, emerging from a realm of cyber hell where spooks might lurk behind every PC screen. It’s the end of the world and nothing’s fine. Avoid the pointless and feeble US remake. Escapism in cinema is always welcome, but confrontation (with or without topical issues) is more intriguing.

Adaptation (2002) director: Spike Jonze
With a brilliant dual–role for Nicolas Cage, and an excellent supporting cast (not to mention Brian Cox as story-maven Robert McKee!), this offbeat deconstruction and dissection of screenwriting and the nature of movies is bursting with searing pathos for profoundly creative struggles that never succumbs to entirely maudlin sentiment or gentle whimsy, but freely explores various modes of documentary realism, bizarre fantasy and - shockingly - almost everything in between! This is essential viewing for any fans of innovative cinema.

Requiem For A Dream (2000) director: Darren Aronofsky
Some films are unforgettable. This one is not usually classified as genre horror, and yet that’s exactly what this scary, downright weird and crushingly depressing drama, about the psychological and physical dangers of addiction, really is. Horror without a pause, bloated with grisly scenes of intense human suffering, amidst socio-economic depravity in a devastatingly bleak emotional landslide of startlingly evocative images.

Martyrs (2008) director: Pascal Laugier
The choice pick from the recent batch of extraordinarily good French shockers (which include Switchblade Romance, Them, Frontiers, and Inside), this serves a maelstrom of electrifying violence, anguish, inhumanity and ultimate misery that makes all those sordid little ‘torture porn’ flicks look rather tame and quite silly. Watch in dismay. See it right through to its bitter surprise-ending for the revelation of a new level in radical horror cinema.

The Lord Of The Rings (2001-3) director: Peter Jackson
I had to include a trilogy in this listing and, because Pirates Of The Caribbean movies were so uneven, and the otherwise laudable X-Men set ended with a disappointment, this ambitious adaptation of Tolkien fits the bill. An undeniably spectacular epic with tremendously good production values, it is flawed and curiously uneven in the pacing of both its narrative and overlong journey, but many sequences offer stunning fantasy entertainment. Taken as a whole, the scale and visual brilliance of this unpretentious saga established new standards of technical proficiency and won critical acclaim for a milestone work of popular cinema. I liked all three extended editions on DVD.

Horror film reviews

2009-12-22T13:25:00.001Z

My latest 'Blood Spectrum' reviews column for Black Static magazine (published by T3A Press) has DVD and blu-ray coverage of Flick; The Uninvited; Vinyan: Lost Souls; Blood Rain; Blood: The Last Vampire; Silent Night, Deadly Night; The Hide; A Perfect Getaway; Dorian Gray; Pontypool; Thirst; Feast II: Sloppy Seconds; Halloween in hi-def with Dawn Of The Dead; Night Of The Living Dead; A Tale Of Two Sisters; plus boxset releases Euro Killers - essential collection (Man Bites Dog, H6: Diary Of A Serial Killer, Tattoo); Three Extremes 1 and 2 (Dumplings, Cut, Box, Memories, The Wheel, Going Home); Park Chan-wook double-bill (JSA: Joint Security Force; I'm A Cyborg, But That's Okay); and Asian Horror - the essential collection (Audition, Dark Water, The Eye).

Journeys

2009-12-11T16:13:00.002Z

The 13th issue of Midnight Street magazine includes my overview article about several films based on Jules Verne's Journey To The Centre Of The Earth.

My reviews include the well-known 1959 adaptation, the Spanish production Viaje al Centro de la Tierra, the recent 3D version, and TV stuff.

This is the last printed issue of Midnight Street, but the 'journeys into darkness' will continue with electronic publication as PDF download. For more info and news about subscriptions or submissions, visit the publisher's website at www.midnightstreet.co.uk.

VideoVista new look

2009-12-04T11:13:00.002Z

Quite pleased with update for VideoVista monthly webzine, using a fresh page template.

December's issue has great retrospective articles on Hollywood before the Hays code (by Gary Couzens), and German expressionist cinema (by Jonathan McCalmont), both of which include top 10 listings of relevant films.

In the main reviews section, there's two different opinions about Star Trek.

IZ #225

2009-11-17T13:23:00.003Z

This month's issue of Interzone magazine has the last in a line of great covers by Adam Tredowski (who's also interviewed on the publisher's T3A website).

My 'Laser Fodder' column of DVD and blu-ray reviews looks at Ghost In The Shell 2: Innocence, Big Man Japan, Kitaro, season one of TV series Sanctuary, and Tidal Wave.

IZ #224 reviewed

2009-11-12T08:43:00.002Z

Excerpt from a review of Interzone #224

My favorite non-fiction section would have to be the movie and TV reviews by Nick Lowe and Tony Lee. Both are phenomenal at making reviews entertaining. They’re not just reviews, but little stories told through criticism. Both Lowe and Lee have unique review styles and I had a lot of fun reading through their biting remarks. I can’t say this is true of any other review section in any magazine. I rarely read the reviews in Realms of Fantasy or Analog (or any others I happen to get from time to time), but I know that I will always go to this section first when reading Interzone.

Read the full review at Fantasy & SciFi Lovin' News & Reviews.

VideoVista changes

2009-11-03T14:40:00.003Z

Working on a fresh page template for monthly webzine, VideoVista.

Here's a test image for the new logo...
A work of art or too hideous for words?

Black Static #13

2009-10-21T13:57:00.004Z

With its best cover design (two flies on crimson splatter!) of the year, this month's issue of top British horror magazine Black Static (published by T3A Press) has my regular 'Blood Spectrum' column of blu-ray and DVD reviews sprawled over 10 pages. BS#13 includes coverage of a bumper crop of genre films - Haunted Echoes, Alone In The Dark II, From Within, 13: Game Of Death, Footprints, It's Alive (remake), Far Cry, Messengers 2: The Scarecrow, Sick Nurses, Amsterdamned, Dr Chopper, Mr Halloween, Tormented, Wasting Away, Necromentia, Pig Hunt, Rogue, Walled In, Inside, Horsemen Of The Apocalypse, Staunton Hill, Drag Me To Hell, I Sell The Dead, plus new blu-ray editions of Sleepy Hollow, Freddy vs Jason, Anaconda, The Deep, Ghosts Of Mars, Blood: The Last Vampire, and news about launch of the Brain Damage DVD label in UK (with a batch of six films noted, including Serum, Prey For The Beast, and Death Of A Ghost Hunter.

Today, I also finished my latest 'Laser Fodder' column for next month's Interzone... And IZ #225 will include my reviews of anime sequel Ghost In The Shell 2: Innocence, Japanese CGI'd fantasy Big Man Japan, Kitaro, season one of TV series Sanctuary, and Korean disaster movie Tidal Wave.

Celebration

2009-09-29T08:49:00.004Z

Celebration
- 50 years of the British Science Fiction Association
editor: Ian Whates
newconpress.co.uk

A solid but sadly unexceptional collection, with stories that range from whimsical surrealism and cranky genre satire to uniquely British retro and speculative fiction reflecting (via alternate worlds) on familiar 20th century SF tropes or delivering riffs on edgier 21st century themes. It's a book that's quite suitable for collectors of SF literature but is hardly essential reading for general sci-fi fans.

More laser fodder

2009-09-14T11:44:00.003Z

This month's Interzone (#224, published by T3A Press), includes my DVD and blu-ray review column, which covers the final season of Stargate Atlantis, Outlander, Dragonball Evolution, Dollhouse: season one, Push, Man In The Moon, Watchmen - director's cut, and Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus.

Quotation #101

2009-08-27T18:25:00.001Z

"Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine." - Fran Lebowitz

Horror in 2008...

2009-08-25T11:27:00.005Z

Here's a quote from page 38 of editor Stephen Jones’ introduction to The Mammoth Book Of Best New Horror 20th anniversary edition (Robinson)...

"After an uneven start with its first two issues, Andy Cox’s Black Static finally began to find its own identity...
Although it did not reach the standard of The 3rd Alternative... the magazine presented some impressive short fiction...
However, the periodical’s best bits remained the regular columns by Christopher Fowler, Stephen Volk, Mike O’Driscoll, Peter Tennant and, especially, Tony Lee’s insightful DVD reviews.

Lee also provided DVD reviews to Black Static’s attractive sister publication, Interzone."

Very chuffed - but, oh dear! I’m going to be unbearably smug this afternoon, and probably for the rest of this week...

Favicons, or...

2009-08-21T12:12:00.006Z

Yes, favicons...
Or, how I learned to stop writing and faff about (even more than usual) on the Internet

While making progress with re-designing The ZONE website for a 'new look' based on the page template created by Lawrence Dyer (Traffic Folder), I actually managed to learn something, including how to add favicons to my other websites.

A favicon is a tiny logo (B for blogger.com, F for facebook, etc) which appears in your browser's address bar, and in bookmarked lists of your favourite sites.

Already got a logo? Then it's simple to make a favicon.
Your image can be in any format, JPEG, GIFF, PNG, etc... but it must be a square and of a typical size: 16 x 16, 32 x 32 pixels, or larger.

I created my simple favicons in Paint Shop Pro 5, but any popular graphics program should be able to produce a suitable image.

Go to http://www.enetplace.com/create-favicon/ upload the image from your computer, and save the favicon.ico file that's generated.

If you haven't got a logo, or a suitable graphics program, you can draw one (16 x 16 pixels only) using this site -
http://www.favicon.cc/
- which displays a handy preview of your artistry before you download the completed favicon.ico file.

You then need to upload this icon (via FTP) to your website's root directory (not your graphics or images folder!).

Although some favicon-making guides sites do suggest adding a bit of code to the header tags of your web-pages, it does not seem to be necessary if you're using a recent or the latest version common browsers: Internet Explorer 8, or Firefox 3 (or later).

If the favicon does not appear, as expected, try refreshing your browser's cache (CTRL + F5).

Have a go...
It's fun, it's free, and it - usually - adds 'identity' and professionalism to your site's image.

BS #12

2009-08-17T12:27:00.003Z

The 'innards' of Black Static magazine #12 include my latest Blood Spectrum column, reviewing great or simply gory new horrors - Embodiment Of Evil, Tokyo Gore Police, Fox Family, Killing Room, Infestation, Grotesque, Dead Snow, Let The Right One In, Passengers, Goth: Love Of Death, Hellraiser, House By The Cemetery, Macabre, Sleepless, and Cradle Will Fall.

A masterpiece?

2009-08-16T13:53:00.000Z

"By a curious confusion, many modern critics have passed from the proposition that a masterpiece may be unpopular to the other proposition that unless it is unpopular it cannot be a masterpiece." - G.K. Chesterton

IZ#223

2009-07-14T11:04:00.003Z

My column in this month's Interzone (from T3A Press) has DVD reviews of live-action manga Cutie Honey, the last season of TV show Battlestar Galactica, British oddity Franklyn, and the second season of Canadian TV science fiction ReGenesis. I also review 20th Century Boys, Walerian Borowczyk's Goto: The Island Of Love, sequels to The Cell and Donnie Darko, quirky TV series John From Cincinnati, end-of-the-world movie Knowing, Robot Chicken: Star Wars II, and David Lynch's DumbLand.

One again, cover artwork is by Adam Tredowski - but, must admit, I'm not sure about that pink fairy...

Manchester

2009-07-13T10:39:00.003Z

Got back yesterday from two days in Manchester. We stayed at Sachas Hotel (part of Britannia chain), and the city-centre location put many things of interest in easy walking distance. Saw live-action cartoon Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen, which is everything you might expect from Michael Bay’s sequel to Transformers but seeing this film at Odeon IMAX was a cinema experience (premier seating, £11), anyway. There’s no denying Transformers 2 provided visually–stunning sci-fi action, with plenty of epic battles, military hardware, and weapons of mass destruction... yet the benefits of watching this on such a giant screen has confirmed my view that Bay’s recent films have almost nothing to offer – except for spectacular CGI. Take away the widescreen spectacle and the film's genre appeal, even for brainless thrills, dials back to nearly zero.

On Saturday morning, I walked around the city centre, and all along Deansgate to visit the Museum of Science and Industry (MOSI), which has interactive displays and galleries including exhibits charting Manchester residents’ varied contributions of technological progress to Britain, and the world... I found the adjacent Air & Space Hall of special interest for its helicopter stand, a tandem-rotor Bristol 192 Belvedere.

Main event was The Eagles at MEN Arena (last UK venue of a 100+ date world tour), where the band’s line-up included the core of front-man Glenn Frey, drummer Don Henley, guitarist extraordinaire Joe Walsh, and bassist Timothy B. Schmit (Don Felder was fired in 2001), plus a spare guitar player, other keyboards man, a violinist, and trumpet and saxophones players. The concert started promptly at 7.30 - just as we found our seats. They played many old classics (surprisingly, Hotel California was included in their first set) but recent double-album Long Road Out Of Eden (the band’s first new recording for 28 years!) was quite heavily promoted. Very pleased to report they also played Joe Walsh’s amusingly cockeyed view of fame and fortune, Life’s Been Good (cue head-cam antics), followed by Don Henley’s barbed critique of media celebrity, Dirty Laundry. Lighting arrays, background images (retro and contemporary), artfully composed movies, and a pair of video screens ensured there was always plenty of visual streams to admire, in addition to the dark-suited players on stage. I have always liked the Eagles for the lyrically romantic nostalgia of their Californian pop-rock blend, but also for the brooding melancholy of their darker and often sagely-critical worldviews. The show embraced a variety of moods and musical styles, from country ballads to heavy rock.

I don’t have a complete set-list, but songs included: opener How Long, Guilty Of The Crime, Witchy Woman, Lyin’ Eyes, In The City, and The Long Run, before a break. The band returned for a brief sit-down session with No More Walks In The Woods (a cappella), and No More Cloudy Days, before continuing with other familiar material including (my favourite Eagles' song) Take It To The Limit – introduced as "the credit card song," new album centrepiece Long Road Out Of Eden (a lengthy yet brilliant dissection of modern times’ woes and wonders), One Of These Nights, Funk #49 (a psychedelic improvisation?), Life In The Fast Lane, Take It Easy, and closer Desperado. With five guitarists, two drummers, and a four-man horn and string section, the band produced a slick and super-sized sound of excellent technical quality making this one of the most polished and sharpest performances of arena style rock that I can remember. Despite the £85 ticket, this really was a great show that surpassed all expectations and was certainly worth the money.

Fantastique

2009-06-29T17:44:00.004Z

Got #1 of first English version of the long-running L'Ecran Fantastique... www.ecranfantastique.net, which offers a choice of Terminators or Transformers cover.

It's a large format (nearly 9x12 inches) and 100 pages, with guest columnists (like Jon Gulager), previews of Emmerich's 2012, and Argento's Giallo, coverage of My Bloody Valentine 3D, plus DVDs, cult stuff and other fanzine-stye features.

A breakthrough in publishing history, or just a replacement for Starburst and Shivers in the crowded media-zine marketplace?

BS #11

2009-06-17T16:59:00.004Z

My 'Blood Spectrum' column for the June-July issue of Black Static magazine (T3A Press) has review coverage of Demons, Baba Yaga, Cold Prey + Cold Prey 2, Thirst, Shuttle, Zombie Virus On Mulberry Street, Jack Ketchum's The Lost, I Know How Many Runs You Scored Last Summer, Amusement, Haunted Airman, Dark Floors, Boston Strangler: Untold Story, Laid To Rest, Grudge 3, Machine Girl, Raising Jeffrey Dahmer, and The Unborn. It's a batch of blu-ray and DVD releases that reflect current trends in screen horror. There's a few really good films, some rather mediocre stuff, but far too much that's blatantly derivative, uninteresting, or just boring.

Black Hole

2009-06-11T03:36:00.004Z

I watched 30-year-old sci-fi, The Black Hole, directed by Gary Nelson as the first PG-rated Disney movie. Compared, overall, to the calibre of creative filmmaking on 1979’s genre milestones, Alien, and Star Trek: The Motion Picture (still my favourite 'Trek film), this once-intriguing picture seems much worse (than remembered) with each re-viewing.

Despite a notable Hollywood cast, including Anthony Perkins as the star-struck scientist, Robert Forster’s unflappable spacer, and Ernest Borgnine’s treacherous newshound reporter, it appears - in retrospect - this film was as jinxed as the plotline’s mission of exploration. Pulp sci-fi clichés abound: from Joseph Bottoms’ hotshot pilot yahoo, to the duelling sentries, and anthropomorphic Disneyfied droid Vincent (voiced by Roddy McDowell). Overshadowing the straightforward heroes is the mysterious, twisted genius Dr Reinhardt (Maximilian Schell, channelling Captain Nemo), whose dream of journeying through a black hole is the point of this adventure.

There are incidental pleasures... the apparently derelict starship ‘Cygnus’ - which unexpectedly lights up (“like a Christmas tree”), vast architecture of the doomed ship (later echoed in Event Horizon), the gaudily unscientific depiction of a black hole as a swirling vortex, and the luscious Yvette Mimieux (Weena in the original Time Machine, 1960) wrapped in foil.

Ultimately, what kills the genre appeal of this film is its blatant cribbing from the unsubtle imagery of Star Wars. It seems very likely that this project was intended to be a serious and quite brooding space drama (clearly, its allegorical setup, and transcendental ending, were influenced by the profundities of Kubrick’s 2001, and Tarkovsky’s Solaris), but - with its team of meddling writers - nearly all the genuine science fiction was deleted to be replaced by the ‘fun’ and familiar tropes of space fantasy. The proverbial ‘bad robots’ here, once acceptable sci-fi kitsch, now seem irredeemably a lethal curse on this film’s otherwise interesting design elements.

VideoVista

2009-06-02T08:59:00.003Z

This month's VideoVista webzine includes (as usual) a mixed batch of genre/ non-genre films, both old and new... Including differently styled Norwegian horrors Cold Prey and Cold Prey 2, with the demented fun of Machine Girl from Japan for contrast. (I'm looking forward to seeing Tokyo Gore Police.)

With recent wartime heroines of Female Agents and Black Book, followed by adventuresome 'biopic' stories about male resistance-fighters in Defiance and Max Manus, it's curious to note the apparently-nostalgic thinking behind this current mini-cycle of WWII films. I'm not sure that Valkyrie fits into this subgenre, at all, but it's worth a mention, if only as yet another movie where Tom Cruise hides behind facial disfigurement (or a mask). What's up with this man? Not happy with his looks? Is he fixated on getting ugly for his movies?

ego test

2009-05-28T16:29:00.000Z

"The greatest mystery is not that we have been flung at random between the profusion of matter and of the stars, but that within this prison we can draw from ourselves images powerful enough to deny our nothingness." - Andre Malraux

expenses?

2009-05-22T22:42:00.000Z

"When the politicians complain that TV turns the proceedings into a circus, it should be made clear that the circus was already there, and that TV has merely demonstrated that not all the performers are well trained." - Edward R. Murrow

Interzone

2009-05-18T12:44:00.003Z

#222 of Interzone magazine (T3A Press) includes my Laser Fodder column, which reviews War Inc., The Signal, Day The Earth Stood Still remake, X-Men trilogy, The Promise, The Spirit, and The Man From Earth, plus Alien Agent, Inkheart, Screamers 2: The Hunting, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, The Myth, Star Wreck.

The book reviews section, features a Premonitions: Causes For Alarm, reviewed by Andy Hedgecock... "an energetic and passionate collection."

April mags

2009-04-27T12:59:00.007Z

Issue #10 of Black Static: Transmissions From Beyond (T3A Press) has a wonderfully disturbing, sickly yellow artwork, and has my name on the front cover. Okay, so I'm ranked only just above "free stuff", but I think that's a first for me!
;)

My blu-ray and DVD review column, Blood Spectrum, for this horror magazine starts with coverage of John Gulager's Feast trilogy, continues with Mutant Chronicles, Max Payne, the Saw series, Scar, Blindness, The Children, Hansel And Gretel, Fingerprints, Boogeyman 3, Mirrors, and a round-up that includes: Watch Me When I Kill, Babysitter Wanted, They Wait, Red Sands, Vacancy 2: The First Cut, Borderland, Manhunt, Anamorph, and mention of Undead Or Alive.

Also received today, Midnight Street: Journeys Into Darkness (www.midnightstreet.co.uk) #12, the fine small press magazine with mixed genre content, edited by Trevor Denyer. This issue has my book review of Daniel Marcus' variable collection of short fiction Binding Energy (Elastic Press) on the mag's back cover.

Progress

2009-04-21T08:01:00.001Z

"Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something." - Robert Heinlein

Nocturnals

2009-04-11T05:24:00.004Z

Watched the French vampire film, Les Morsures de l'aube (aka: Love Bites, 2001), directed by Antoine de Caunes, and starring Asia Argento, Guillaume Canet, and Gerard Lanvin. Surprisedly to find that end credits feature a track Nocturnals by Peter Gabriel. Good film, and pleased to find this Gabriel song. It's been a while he released Up... Hope some version of Nocturnals will appear on his long-delayed I/O album project.

IZ#221

2009-03-18T13:19:00.003Z

The March/April issue of Interzone (T3A Press - see this publisher's new site) includes my usual Laser Fodder column, which has reviews of - The Fall, Monkey Magic, Futurama: Into The Wild Green Yonder, Repo! The Genetic Opera, Famous Monster: Forrest J Ackerman, and Eagle Eye, plus 4 other DVD releases mentioned in the round-up.

One Missed Call

2009-03-17T08:39:00.003Z

My reviews of Japanese horrors One Missed Call (directed by Takashi Miike), One Missed Call 2, and the US remake are in Estronomicon e-zine published by Screaming Dreams. It's a free PDF download.

Black Static 9

2009-02-18T16:35:00.003Z

My column of DVD and blu-ray reviews for 'Blood Spectrum' in Black Static magazine #9 (T3A Press) includes Brotherhood Of Blood, The Mummy trilogy, Eden Lake, Resident Evil: Degeneration, Memories Of Matsuko, Kamikaze Girls, Sukiyaki Western Django, Bad Biology, The Midnight Meat Train, The Guard Post, Tooth And Nail, Death Race, Roadkill 2, Hit And Run, Alien Raiders, and Splinter...

The issue also has a good in-depth review of Premonitions: Causes For Alarm.

quote1

2009-01-24T05:20:00.002Z

My quote for the day, perhaps the whole month...

"Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money." - Jules Renard

IZ#220

2009-01-15T13:04:00.003Z

The February 2009 issue of Interzone magazine (T3A Press) includes reviews of Smallville: season 7, Babylon A.D., Speed Racer, and Mad Detective. There's also my book review of Neal Asher's collection The Gabble.

New PC

2009-01-05T07:08:00.003Z

My new desktop computer details...

AMD Athlon Dual Core 64-Bit AM2 5600+
2 GIG (2048MB) DDR2 Memory
Socket AM2 NForce PCIEX Motherboard
500GB 7200 RPM SATA Drive
20x DVDWriter / CDWriter Combo Drive 256MB
ATI Radeon 3450 PCI Express Video 10/100
Ethernet for Home Networking/Broadband
5.1 Dolby Digital Sound Onboard
USB2.0 ports x8 (2 on front)
Black and Silver case + matching drives

Also got Office 2003 Premium (free upgrade from 2000 edition)!

S&A Live

2008-12-25T17:32:00.003Z

If (like me) you've been to Rush gigs, seen the videos, got all their albums, and know the band's songs backwards, then watching Snakes & Arrows Live - on blu-ray or DVD, might feel a bit like having some old pals around for the afternoon. Filmed over two nights in Rotterdam, this epic concert movie features more than 30 tracks, and runs for over three hours, plus bonus material (such as Geddy playing the fool as Harry Satchel). Many older groups with a similar 30+ year career and loyal international following, have been called rock dinosaurs, but Rush are giants in the arena, with legendary musicianship, and this is certainly their best-filmed gig, to date (especially on the 1080i hi-def blu-ray format disc). Strongly recommended to all fans of hard rock, whether you like chicken, or not!

desktop dead again

2008-12-23T12:52:00.003Z

It's heat-death-of-desktop-universe, again... as my PC keeps freezing and only works for 30 seconds. Windows starts up, okay, but system fails to operate. Hope this is just an easily-fixed power or cooling-fan problem (both of which I've had before on that machine), but - argh! - it would happen at Xmas, when repair shop's closed for the week.

Glad that I bought this laptop, so I'll be able to continue working on certain writing projects over silly season.

BS8

2008-12-18T06:41:00.005Z

Yet more transmissions from beyond... My column, Blood Spectrum, of DVD reviews for Black Static magazine (published by T3A Press), covers Zombie Diaries, Zombies! Zombies! Zombies!, Days Of Darkness, Tokyo Zombies (notice a Halloween theme?), Death Note and Death Note 2: The Last Name, Strait Jacket, X-Cross, While She Was Out, One Way, Skinwalkers, Doomsday, Seed, Hellboy II: The Golden Army, Reeker 2: No Man's Land, Creepshow III, plus a round-up of Asylum, Santa's Slay, The Tattooist, and Driftwood.

SF Site

2008-12-02T17:59:00.004Z

There's a mini-interview by Sandy Auden, on the SF Site (scroll down that page a bit).

Laser Fodder

2008-11-21T17:08:00.003Z

My latest DVD review column appears in December's issue of Interzone magazine (published by T3A Press)...

This month Laser Fodder has reviews of Charlie Jade, Flash Gordon, Lost In Austen, The Colour Of Magic, Starship Troopers 3, Spooks: Code 9, Futurama: Bender's Game, The X-Files: I Want To Believe, The Princess Bride + a round-up commentary on superhero movies.

Quantum theories

2008-11-10T02:48:00.003Z

Quantum Of Solace

This sequel to ‘franchise reboot’ Casino Royale is just average entertainment, really... Honestly, I was disappointed, yet again, that such OTT-editing of action sequences is nowadays considered ‘good’ film-making technique or artistry. How can such a blurry blitz of snapshots and multi-angle close-ups (more like a slide-show than moving images!), and obviously CGI-enhanced background scenery be any kind of worthwhile replacement for convincing stunt-work? Where’s the real drama in the hero’s brisk and frequently brutish slaughter of valueless villains? I thought all the main characters seemed to be nothing more than circumstantial props (now, even M talks of Bond as if he’s a useful gadget, not a charismatic rogue agent), juggled by 007’s producers and director (Marc Forster), while annoying inter-cutting of racing with a rooftop chase, and staged opera with back-stage fighting, prove too boringly arty-farty, and distracting from the principal action, as if designed to hide gaps in story logic, and conceal the ridiculously fanciful situations in a supposedly more realistic kind of adventure than the previous outings. Now that our new James Bond is so clearly imitating Jason Bourne (himself merely a blatant 007 clone, despite amnesic twists), that his Cold War screen-presence has become a tragic parody of former glories, perhaps the ultimate British super-spy’s forcible retirement is long overdue?

1st paperback

2008-11-07T12:35:00.006Z

Books just delivered from printer!
Order now!

Classic rock

2008-11-01T13:17:00.008Z

It was Hocus Pocus for a Halloween treat, at Winter Gardens venue in Ventnor, where a triple-bill of classic rock acts provided a great evening's musical entertainment. The Groundhogs were a fine warm-up band, milking the horror theme with suitable props and costumes, and tech change-overs by the road crew replaced gear quickly so Martin Turner's Wishbone Ash (not that other band!) were on stage by about 9 pm. Although I failed to recognise or remember any of their material (the last time I heard Argus was 25+ years ago!), they put on a really great show that fulfilled all expectations, despite being a rather short set-list, and fetched out the air-guitar loons and geriatric rockers from a mixed audience (including 'Fred and Ginger Travolta', providing a not-very-amusing distraction).

Top billed Focus were slower to get started, but at 10 pm, larger-than-life Dutch maestro Thijs van Leer was perched behind his nearly-antique looking Hammond organ and blasting out eclectic prog-rock milestones that bought back many happy memories. In addition to classics like Sylvia, the band also performed newer composition Aye-Yuppie-Hippie-Yee, and medley-sounding Eruption. It's funny now, but I used to consider Focus, with their combo of flute and electric guitars, were a poor man's Jethro Tull... However, last night proved that van Leer's powerhouse band are not a poor version of any such thing. Focus are simply brilliant live, kicking up a storm of energy, yet making it look so effortless. (And, yes... I bought a T-shirt, of course.)

Premonitions on Facebook

2008-10-28T18:06:00.001Z

Premonitions magazine-anthology now has its own page on the FaceBook site...
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Premonitions-magazine/30784834751.
Join now!

Black Static

2008-10-23T09:54:00.005Z

Issue #7 of this horror fiction magazine from T3A Press has my Blood Spectrum column sprawled across eight pages... and includes reviews of Who Saw Her Die?, Wizard Of Gore (remake), Lost Boys 2: The Tribe, Shutter (another remake), B.T.K., Otis, Chemical Wedding, Day Of The Dead (yet another remake!), Dante 01, Dead Space: Downfall, Vexille, The Happening, Tin Man, P2, The Flock, The Vanguard, The Outpost, Solstice, and Eraserhead plus the collected short films of director David Lynch.

Premonitions

2008-10-22T12:08:00.003Z

Delayed for years (actually four years... argh!), a new issue of Premonitions is finally with the printer, and due for publication in nifty paperback, next month!

Here's the press release:

Premonitions: Causes For Alarm
Magazine-anthology of science fiction, horror stories, and genre poetry

Now in A5 paperback format, with nearly 57,000 words of 1st class writing!

Fiction by Matt Bright, Andrew Darlington, Waldo Gemio, Peter Hagelslag, David Howard, Patrick Hudson, William Jackson, Sue Lange, David McGillveray, Matthew Pendleton, Steven Pirie, Cyril Simsa, Jim Steel, Julie Travis, and Fred Walker.

Poems from: Cardinal Cox, J.C. Hartley, John Hayes, Steve Sneyd, and J.P.V. Stewart.

Cover artists: Chris Moore, and Caroline O’Neal.

UK only: £5.95
Prices for overseas orders will be announced, shortly

Order direct from the Pigasus Press website at
www.pigasuspress.co.uk

Southbound

2008-09-23T11:56:00.003Z

Made very good time on road journey back home, from England yesterday... leaving Nottingham just after 8 am, to catch the 1 pm ferry over to Wight-land. I crash-slept through teatime and evening, but was awake - or something quite like that - by 11 pm, for checking email and sorting weekend's postal deliveries.

Fantasycon was great fun! Its lively tone and friendly mood, for various panel events and nightly sessions in the main bar, were so consistently enjoyable I find it very difficult to pick out a highlight. Doubt that I will be going to F'con again (unless it moves venue to London or south coast..?), but I would strongly recommend that everyone with any level or degree of interest in fantasy, horror, and even science fiction, genres attends one of these weekend events.

Now considering the Redemption 2009 multimedia con (Coventry, in February), and the World Horror con (Brighton, in March 2010) looks to be a dead cert for me.

Sunday

2008-09-21T18:52:00.002Z

Running on 4 hours sleep, I lurched along to breakfast, and then wrote a blog post to report on yesterday. The main hall's morning panel on 'When Does Fantasy Become Horror' had Chaz Brenchley, Tim Lebbon, and James Barclay, moderated by Steve Lockley, during which Ramsey Campbell contributed much to the debate, though – as expected - no conclusions were reached, leading to only tentative agreements to disagree. (I met Stephen Volk after this!) Due to various distractions, I missed half the Gallery suite panel about 'Opportunities In The Small Press', with Christopher Teague, Ian Whates, and David J. Howe - moderated by Andrew Hook, each editor giving a good account of their respective ventures' publishing aims and practices, and offering sound advice to hopeful new writers and authors.

After lunch, I neglected programme item 'How To Run A Literary Event' for advice panel 'How To Publicise Yourself' with Darren Turpin, Lee Harris, and Sam Stone, moderated by Allen Ashley, whose scepticism about online social networks provided both contrast and balance to panellists' varied expertise and experience. I really had no time for refreshments provided at 3 pm event 'Monster Small Press Launch' (but I did order another book), as my planned trip into Sutton, to visit local relatives, was bought forward from teatime.

Saturday

2008-09-21T09:35:00.009Z

Spoke to book-dealer Bob, and Gary Couzens, at early breakfast. There at glam Sam Stone's book launch for Killing Kiss (Murky Depths), first novel in the Vampire Gene trilogy, and heard rumours about financial problems of a certain publisher of UK media magazines... Went to morning panel, 'To Boldly Go...' (are there any new frontiers in SF?), in the main hall, where I met Paul Barnett (alias, John Grant), and listened to 45 minutes of amusing and illuminating chat by him, Christian Dunn, and the great Ian Watson, moderated by Ian Whates. 'Crafting The Short Story', with Ramsey Campbell, Stephen Jones, Christopher Fowler, and Tony Richards, moderated by Peter Crowther, was very well attended, offering a fascinating discussion that packed out the 'Gallery' suite with standing-room only. After, Gary Couzens told me about the disappointing farce over his morning reading in the Trent room, where everyone was locked out of 10th floor access, but – as con-going veteran - he seemed unfazed by this lack of organisation.

Very pleased to meet Simon Clark, the author I'd interviewed - via email - for a BFS 30th 'birthday bash' publication, several years ago. Following the lunchtime break, I bumped into Chaz Brenchley in the foyer, and was very soon the proud owner of Northern Gothic intriguing ghost stories collection Phantoms At The Phil: The Second Proceedings (Sidereal), which is complete with readings by the writers, on two CDs. Having already decided on a money-saving strategy not to buy any paperbacks, this hardcover was my first purchase at F'con. Attended launch of Pendragon anthology We Fade To Grey with fiction by Paul Finch, Mark West, Mark Morris, and Simon Bestwick, edited by Gary McMahon (a VideoVista regular whose taste in horror films is remarkably similar to mine). The editorial seminar by Jo Fletcher (who I remembered gave a talk at Worldcon in Glasgow) was as entertaining as ever with tales of hilariously bad fiction submissions collected from slush pile reading. In the main bar, Stephen Jones' launch of Best New Horror #19 had an impressive line-up of writers signing paperback copies. Had a great chat with artist Vincent Chong (who later won a BFS award).

While the banquet was going on, I went to dinner in the hotel restaurant (serving steak, but with no steak knives!) with my brother Stephen, and got the latest news about my uncle. While the BFS awards ceremony was ending, a very British queue formed at the typically understaffed main bar. Scheduled against the main hall's popular raffle, my panel 'Nothing New Under The Sun' in the Gallery room was a non-event, despite the presence of Christopher Fowler, Nicholas Royle, and latecomer Ramsey Campbell, but 8 of us had a good chat about film remakes, anyway. Midnight's panel item 'Forbidden', had Joel Lane (another BFS award winner!), Adam Nevill, and Nicholas Royle, discussing taboos in genre fiction, moderated by Conrad Williams. Despite the late hour, it proved an interesting discussion, especially with audience involvement. Back in the main bar, I failed embarrassingly to recognise Sam Stone's sister, but had a lively chat about something, um, whatever... After 5 pints, I just can't remember any details today.

Thanks to David J. Howe for the photo.

Friday, good & bad

2008-09-20T08:09:00.003Z

Good breakfast, all-you-can-eat full English, walked off morning lethargy, viewed the local picture-book castle, while avoiding tourism hotspots, lurked in hotel's lobby and lounge bar, found no sign or trace of con organisers. No wifi in rooms but - as advertised - it works okay, if not perfectly, in public areas. I looked around the city centre, where a street market served ostrich burgers (among other such northern delicacies!), but my early afternoon was spoiled by a couple of rather incompetent pickpockets, who tried weaselling out of my grip when caught, and who eventually threw my wallet back and scurried off. My shouting at them both caught attention of helpful passers-by, who stayed to help with descriptions for police. Having calmed down after that bit of aggro... I returned to the hotel, and – on my 2nd attempt navigating to Britannia's back room suites of conference rooms – I found the Fantasycon committee (Marie, Paul, Vicky, Martin, etc.), and discovered that volunteering to help stuff carrier-bags of goodies (in readiness for convention registrations at 3 pm), enabled me to get a badge and freebies pack ahead of the big rush. In the dealers room, I spoke to Andrew Hook (Elastic), and Christopher Teague (Pendragon), both remembered from Glasgow's SF Worldcon, and this year's Eastercon. I also met several new friendly faces in the bar and around the hotel - all of which made up for my unwelcome encounter with Notty Ash's lowlifes.

Bit a shock, however, to find that for my Saturday night panel on genre remakes, I will be moderating (or trying!) a line-up of Ramsey Campbell, Christopher Fowler and Nicholas Royle. Gulp.... Later on, I met Allen Ashley, and we agreed about Kubrick's 2001, but disagreed about other films, TV, and music... Got some bad news about my Uncle having a heart attack, struggled to write sympathetic text message sent to my cousin. Missed seeing people I was keen to meet, and only caught last 20 minutes of convention's 1st panel, but the rest of evening was going well, anyway... Heard from Martin Roberts about tonight's film shows, and tomorrow's evening programme, and the short films do sound interesting. Time spent talking in the main bar meant that I missed the 10 pm 'Crossing The Streams' panel, but my brother found me with some good news about my uncle's condition in hospital. Went to see the 11 pm film show, but sitting in the darkened room watching stuff that I realised, belatedly, that I had already seen before, some-when... made me suddenly aware of how extremely tired I was, so that was Fantasycon Friday over and done, for me, and I staggered back to my room.

F'con arrival

2008-09-18T17:47:00.004Z

Made car journey from the Island in good time, arriving in Nottinghamshire just after midday. Decided on a hurried tour of my hometown Sutton-in-Ashfield... having an enjoyable wander through strangely unfamiliar surroundings - that I used to know so well, going back in time for a look at our used-to-be family house - how tiny every street and back lane looks now after decades away, and then stopping off in nearby Mansfield for another leisurely walkabout - part nostalgic, half traumatic - around busy marketplace streets - now much-changed, with bolt-on extras, seemingly retro-fitted infrastructure, redeveloped commercial sites, and eyesore of M1 bypass - that I fondly remembered from a couple of years worth of connecting-bus journeys during my schooldays.

Finally, reached Britannia hotel in Nottingham city centre, and checked in, more than ready for a nap and quick shower to recover from brain-taxing memory-lane fatigue build-up & time-warp overload flashbacks. Went for an easy stroll, twice around the block in cool evening air, which cleared away that snare of cobwebs.

Sunday races

2008-09-02T22:37:00.004Z

A day at the races... but only go-karts in Gosport, on the speedy indoor track operated by Team Sport franchise.

Negotiating two ferry crossings, and ordering a minibus taxi, planned well by our trip organisers, Stephen and Sally. After signing-in on arrival, a quick orientation for our group of a dozen racers (aged 15 to 70), included brief chat and explanatory video, but safety rules were generally obvious and necessarily basic – if this was going to be any fun at all, despite observable risks of 175cc machines doing 30 mph on a clearly slippery track – featuring a flyover bridge and some hairpin bends. Of the go-kart novices, Brian (a long-time microlight flyer) said he wasn’t especially keen at first, but was persuaded to have a go, anyway – and he actually did very well in the final race.

Team Sport staff were mostly young but seemed cheerfully competent, mindful of the dangerous environment yet keen to ensure that all visitors would enjoy the racing. It appeared turnover of groups was brisk, throughout morning sessions, having several cars always on the go created a quite noisy ambiance, with pit stop downtime limited to routine maintenance and refuelling between races.

Overalls, crash helmets and gloves were supplied in various sizes. However, none of the apparel was in good condition, gloves were sticky or damp, and the clammy full-face helmets (no disposable liners were available) soon became rather smelly, even before the adrenaline heat of actual 15-minute races. Marshalled into the pits, we got into the tiny go-karts, and were off. Skidding around on tight corners proved to be a harder trick to master than I’d thought, and the down-slope off that little bridge was a juddering ride at any speed.

I was slowest during time-trials (I haven’t driven for about two and a half years, is my only excuse), but that put me in starting line’s pole position on reverse-order grid for our main event. The race itself was mostly a crazy blur (don’t think I noticed warning lights on a couple of early laps!), as everyone overtook me, eventually. Chequered flag appeared sooner than expected, but probably just in time...

Reigning champ Dave remained undefeated, as expected. Sally’s friend Carly won 2nd place, and Dave’s girlfriend Rhiane finished third. Prize tokens duly awarded, but where’s the champagne? Group photo-op essential... I’m not really competitive, so was happy enough finishing a barely respectable last (at least I didn’t spin-off into sidings), except for teenage Jake who admitted he kept crashing.

Now weighing over 200 lbs, I’m hardly a suitable candidate for winning this activity. It was an enjoyable distraction, simply great fun. Only slight injuries were sustained, to elbows or egos. Walking off the industrial estate, unwinding in cool afternoon, we then had lunch and beer at nearby Hoeford Inn.